A commentator said in part:
“[When I was younger] racism was something I was terrified I would be accused of. To be racist was maybe the worst thing you could be, but it was (I thought) very easy to accidentally do something that would result in some black person calling you racist, and as a result I found it was often easier to simply avoid black people. Being accused of racism was something I experienced as a very painful humiliation, though of course it never occurred to me to wonder how it felt to be on the receiving end of racism.
“It was also very, very, very important never to acknowledge in any way that some people were black and others white. If you did that you opened yourself to an accusation of racism. When I moved to the DC area and was riding on the metro with a friend and he made the observation that more black people ride the green line and more white people ride the orange line (true, depending where you get on), I was horrified and embarrassed that he would actually say that out loud in public.”
This was a very illuminating comment. I notice these things every day but I had not understood them as well as I do now until I read this comment. People think you should not notice color, or not mention it if you do. To do so might be “racist,” and/or if you do mention color, you may not be able to control whether or not the terms in which you discuss the matter are racist. People also think “racists” are a small minority of the population and that one is in fairly constant danger of being accused of “racism” out of the blue.
It seems to me that this is what is taught. Noticing color is in itself “racist” … and most people are not “racist” … and if one is it is not food for thought but a cause of shame … and that if one is called “racist” it will not be for comprehensible reasons.
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That last point is the one I find most problematic. One has to assume that if one is called “racist” it is for uncomprehensible reasons. It seems to me that this is the case because it is also assumed that the average person is not “racist.” Thus, if one is accused of racism, one is being accused of a great aberration and must defend one’s honor rather than look at what may be going on.
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It was interesting to get this comment precisely today because earlier on IRL I had been railing about people who were so afraid of being called racist that they would not step in to defend victims of any color against an abuser of color.
What I said: “They are aware that their racism is out of control and that they are not about to improve, so it is easier for them to just duck, since it would be so awkward for them to defend themselves against any charge of racism.”
What I might say now: “They are so frozen in fear over the possibility that they could be shamed by being called racist that they cannot see anything beyond this fear.”
I guess this is the more understanding way to think but I do not really want to become more “understanding” of such people. And yet I am glad to have this information as information, so that I can better understand certain dynamics and the emotions that go into them.
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I still think somehow that adults should be able to move on from that defensive position. I think that adults who want to stay rooted to that fearful spot really do want to continue thinking in racist terms but not be called on it. They are willing to consider how they might defend themselves legally against the “appearance” of racism. But they are not willing consider whether such accusations have merit or not, to confront a person of color on anything, or to confront themselves.
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I feel I have understood something this evening, yet I would like further insight on this matter of whiteness. To be accused of racism is traumatic for people in a way it is not for me. How is it that I am so privileged as to be able to think about these things calmly? Or, how is it that they are so privileged, they can afford not to think about these things calmly? How do you explain to someone who believes accusations of racism are imminent, hurtful, and baseless that some of them might in fact be based in something real and worth listening to . . . and that if you understand that, the fear of the power of baseless accusations decreases exponentially?
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 
Jennifer suggests in the comments on the next post that it is about not having a self, and therefore not being able to be self reflective, so not wanting questions that would require one to have a self and have access to it.
Further comments – anyone?
I actually read Jennifer’s comment as being rather dismissive of what is a real problem, though perhaps that is my remembered defensiveness (because while I used to think as I am describing, I am much better about confronting racism in myself now. I think. I hope.)
One has to assume that if one is called “racist” it is for uncomprehensible reasons. It seems to me that this is the case because it is also assumed that the average person is not “racist.” Thus, if one is accused of racism, one is being accused of a great aberration and must defend one’s honor rather than look at what may be going on.
This is exactly right, but there’s a bit more going on.
What I might say now: “They are so frozen in fear over the possibility that they could be shamed by being called racist that they cannot see anything beyond this fear.”
This is also true. But what must not be overlooked is that these people generally do not have any useful understanding of what racism is. Back when I thought this way I had no understanding of racism as a structural problem, as something that was all-pervasive, as something that I might participate in without even thinking about it or realizing what I was doing.
The ONLY definition I had for racism was that it was intentional, individual bigotry (which in the world I lived was rare, at least as far as I saw). Since I understood how wrong “racism” was, obviously it was a grave offense to my honor to be accused of racism, as you’ve said.
The entire “what you did/what you are” distinction would have been lost on me. In fact, when I was introduced to the idea of structural racism and the idea that I could participate in a racist society without even knowing I was doing so, I resisted furiously, along with a bunch of other white people at a workshop we were participating in. Our black colleagues tried very hard to explain things to us, at first kindly, and then when they got frustrated with us, more bluntly. I was confused and frustrated they were blaming me for stuff like slavery which I never participated in. I missed their point entirely and it was YEARS until I got it. How? I don’t know, maybe that whole experience plus being exposed to the same idea here and there in books and blogs I read finally made it sink in.
Then of course once I GOT it I could see so much that I wasn’t able to see before. But I don’t know of any white people who have been introduced to this idea successfully without going through a very painful experience like I had, before opening their eyes.
PZ, it sounds almost as if you are saying you learned a more accurate, useful definition of racism at a young age, is that true?
Hi Human and this is fascinating! More ASAP, I have to go to class.
I think Jennifer’s comment may apply (at least here) mostly to a certain type of usually older man who gets all of his being from his position and has no interiority … ?
Me: well, we studied racist behavior and also differences between racial prejudice and structural racism in the first grade because integration was coming and we had to get ready.
Also I am from the very segregated southern California, where it is hard to be in denial unless you never go outdoors.
Also I descend directly from Frederick Douglass’ owners and so it is not at all difficult to see my own imbrication in a structure I did not create or enter by choice but in which I am imbricated nevertheless.
I suppose all of this makes me privileged but I do not really have a lot of patience with people who see discrimination happen before their eyes and will not recognize it. Perhaps I should.
But it was always clear to me. Nobody would play with the Mexican children at school, not all households let the Black children on their property to play, and so on . . . all their fathers were laborers and ours were not, and on and on, how was all of that NOT symptomatic of a racist society is what I would have asked.
Am I being too mean to white people here? I am afraid I am but don’t think I am… Hmmm.
P.S. Nobody would play with the Mexican children at school and I was afraid to because then perhaps nobody else would play with me, so I let the only Mexican girl in my class sit alone at *every* recess and *every* lunch in the sixth grade while I wrote left oriented papers on Latin America. I knew then exactly what I was doing and why, and what was wrong with it, and that I was ceding to larger pressures, AND WAS BEING RACIST. How could I not have known? That is the part I really do not understand.
Wow, wow, wow. It is amazing to me that you discussed racism in public school, in first grade no less! And in a constructive way! I don’t think that would ever happen in Louisiana, not in a million years. Wow.
My parents — I am just now realizing I never talked to them about racism in any depth after I came to understand it more fully, so I don’t know if they share the understanding that I have. I suspect they do based on other things. And yet they did not have the ability to convey that understanding to me. The conversation about race which stands out most to me is one which I had with my father when I was about six. I announced that I didn’t like black people because I didn’t like the way their hair smelled, and he hit the roof and made it very clear I was never to say anything like that ever again. (It was left to me to discern what sort of things I might say would sound enough “like that” to get me into trouble.) I guess it would be safe to say he felt the same fear we have been discussing, only compounded: a fear that he was raising a racist daughter. That would have been incredibly shameful to him, I know.
…I do not really have a lot of patience with people who see discrimination happen before their eyes and will not recognize it. Perhaps I should.
I have the exact same problem even though I used to BE one of those people. It is not one I feel terribly bad about or have felt any urgent need to fix, mainly because of what I mentioned earlier about how I don’t see any way to change the way they think other than with a very painful swatting with a metaphorical two-by-four. For me it’s easier to just sigh and avoid/ignore such people than to commit to administering said swatting. But I do feel very angry while doing that ignoring. I am kind of conflict-averse so I’m sure this is that coming out. Yet, I need to find a better way to deal with such people because one of them is responding to my insisting that we need to involve more people of color in our local Democratic committee by saying that we need “the best people for the job” and I am uncomfortable with having the conversation about what is wrong with that. I guess I need to get over it.
I can’t think of any instances when I have behaved in a racist way while at the same time being aware of it, but I’m sure there have been some and I’ve just managed to block them out. The most recent incident I can think of is one where I was at a party for people involved in the local Democratic party. As I was mingling through the crowd talking to this person and that a dark-skinned woman whom I didn’t know (but she knew my name) said hello to me several times. I said hello and moved on each time until the end of the party when one of my friends introduced us and the woman I had been ignoring said she’d been wanting to talk to me the entire time. After I left I realized that I had been behaving in a racist manner because of my assumption that this woman couldn’t possibly have anything to do with me. I had to admit to myself that if she had been white I would have stopped and talked to her when she first greeted me (or at least maybe the second time!) But, I was not conscious of acting racist at the time when I was doing it.
Of course, I think you are absolutely right that the intense shame I still feel at being called racist (even by myself) is a barrier to self-awareness. I’m glad to understand this because I can start thinking about what to do about it.
Well, I strongly suspect my first grade teacher of being part of SNCC or something. She had tell tale materials around and in retrospect I think she was involved in antiracist organizing and also anti- Vietnam war organizing. She was very good at talking about these issues in simple and concise terms.
My father, not I, was the one who said he didn’t like the way Black peoples’ hair smelled. But that was months after saying the first thing he said, which was that they were engaged in major work to improve the Constitution, and it was that remark that stuck with me.
I think though that you have to think about these things over years and learn them bit by bit. I’m sure I do small racist things daily and am not always aware of it. But in my experience persons of color are *extremely* tolerant and forgiving about it … the person who “pulls the race card” as a manipulative strategy or without justification is RARE, and the person who is tolerant and waits for a “teachable moment” in which to point something out is more common.
Starting out with the idea that you should be non racist by an act of will and that every small racist thing you do without intending malice, that you do out of ignorance/etc., makes you horrible as a person, will hold you back … it’s like starting to study something with the idea that you will fail and not know why, and that failure means near death. OF COURSE you would avoid that subject and be terribly nervous around it.
But I was thinking: is it as hard for people to see things about class? Like, that money should be redistributed, public schools should be free, etc., because if one has more money it *is* because others have less … ?
Men definitely now get horribly upset about accusations of sexism, too. When I was younger they realized they probably were and so you could call them on specific instances of it. Now they are supposed to be already perfect and sexism is perceived as a capital sin or something. (Yet I think they just want to get out of facing it, which is why they resent the subject being raised … I hear them say things like “now, sexism is a very serious charge and should not be raised without overwhelming evidence…” which is horribly sexist right there.)
Also – although I’m impatient with the attitude, or the sensitivity about being called racist or having racist behavior pointed out, I do think it’s really important to understand it … just to know where one’s interlocutors are coming from, how they are feeling … it always helps.
But I was thinking: is it as hard for people to see things about class? Like, that money should be redistributed, public schools should be free, etc., because if one has more money it *is* because others have less … ?
Yeah, that’s a little different. There’s this incredibly powerful narrative that says if you are poor obviously you deserve it for fucking up. I bought that hook line and sinker until one day I woke up and went wait a second… there is something fucked up here and it is not me. Conversely, says the narrative, if you have something, it’s because you were awesome and earned it so don’t even think about sharing with people who aren’t as awesome.
But the other thing is that having even that little bit of something makes you timid and protective of it – like I’ve got a decent job where I can get everything I truly need and much of what I want, and good health insurance besides, and I don’t dare try to upset any apple carts because oh man would I be screwed if I lost my health insurance.
That’s one reason why I am not too bothered about how poor I am going to be if I go back to school for a Ph.D. Obviously being poor will suck but in a way it will make it easier for me to exercise certain moral virtues that atrophy when I’m not poor.
Hah, that sounds lame. What I mean is that I want to take more radical political action than I do and if I have less to lose, it’ll be less scary.
Back to the race thing, though, I have been thinking about how to get the needed lessons across to kids. My housemates have daughters who are five and seven. I try to teach the 7 yr old (not necessarily race stuff, but good lefty politics in general) but have hit various snags. If I just lecture, she won’t listen at all. So one time I thought I’d tell her a story and I tried to tell her about Jane Fonda. But partway through the story I realized “oh crap, I can’t tell her the reason Fonda was going over there was that our bombers were trying to break the dikes and cause a famine, she’ll have nightmares and her mom will kill me.” It worries me, the race issue, because our circle of friends is nearly all white and while her school is very diverse, her mom tells me that the kids self-segregate when it’s social time.
I think I’ll just try telling her stories about when I was a kid and how things were and how they should have been. Kids love that type of story.
All very interesting.
On race and kids – I think I had really good parents on this, actually. I don’t remember being lectured at.
My mother had a lot of Asian friends – she’s from S.F. – and my father a lot of Hispanic ones – and these people were just around and presented as normal. They were all professional types, of course, but the normalcy extended to non professional people of those races who were considered interesting because they were often immigrants and could speak foreign languages, which was a positive attribute. One could say all these people were considered honorary whites except they weren’t so assimilated, and were seen as interesting *because* they had something different about them. It was a good start. We didn’t have many Black people in town and my parents didn’t have Black friends but they were friendly with Black neighbors and made sure the parents knew the Black kids were welcome to come and play (they weren’t in all white houses).
Then I had certain signal experiences with my father which were very revealing and I could continue on here but I think they actually merit a … post.
Post upcoming. It will not be well done but it will be a start.