…but then again not; who else has the luxury to work out these problems? Today, besides teach and grade and go to meetings: communicate; find that paper; work on mine; print the course poster; send the course poster around; do one practical thing; go running; sleep. And create more course posters, and look at the … More C’est dur: anxiety and splitting, encore
The child would have reacted like this or something similar if enormous anxiety hadn’t paralyzed her. These children feel physically and morally helpless. There isn’t sufficient consolidation of their personalities in order to be able to protest, even if only in thought. The overwhelming authority of the adult makes them dumb and can rob them … More On some origins of self-hatred
12 things, none of them a real solution to anything. Mostly these are about letting myself be a “good enough teacher.” –Anonymous 1. Cancel a class. Ideally timed to a point in the term when students are cramming my office or when I know I’ll need to catch my breath. Very hard to give oneself … More C’est des tips volés
…decide what this paper, which feels alien, has to do with my book, which does not. Axé.
It is to talk about work, my history of work. Relation to self in work, relation to family in work. Education, Reeducation, work, identity, right to exist. This is a broader topic than I am covering in this post. This post is about research. There is a way in which my entire academic problem is … More The next step
Sentimentos em mim do asperamente dos homens das primeiras eras… As primaveras de sarcasmo intermitentemente no meu coração arlequinal… Intermitentemente… Outras vezes é um doente, um frio na minha alma doente como um longo som redondo Cantabona! Cantabona! Dlorom… Sou um tupi tangendo um alaúde! De Paulicéia desvairada (1922) Mário de Andrade Axé.
There is Amar en tiempos revueltos, and there is also Isabel la Católica. I would love to just watch all of these things on RTVE and withdraw from the world entirely. But it is a beautiful fall now, my favorite season outdoors. What is the next step: should I consider denial, magical thinking, evasion, avoidance, … More On television, and on the next step
I would like this book and I think I should get hold of it. (I wish we had books in our own library.) But it would be very amusing to read. Axé.
I always said the problem I had after Reeducation was loss of voice. And earlier on, it had apparently been difficult to get one. Someone once told me that all those sore throats I used to get as a child–it was my stress reaction–were a sign that I had something to say that I was … More La voix
Just when I thought I would never be able to work on this topic without being so engulfed in various aspects of panic and claustrophobia that I would always be forced two steps back for each one forward, the panic stopped. It used to be that I would be panicked already, and the panic would … More Très nouveau