I have now become more rational with this project, and it is a big achievement. Here is how it is done. Any time I work on this topic I feel crushed by it, like it is a mountain or a slag heap, or a dead body I cannot move out of my way. When you … More The progress, or, how to write, meaning, how to do any type of work
I am going to change my life. A goal is not to fall into destructive patterns of thought as much, so I do not have to spend as much time arguing against them on this weblog. A thought on this: the problem with much US psychotherapy is that it makes certain erroneous assumptions, to wit: … More Terra estrangeira: a minha vida vai mudar
…by practicing mental health hygiene. It is not all one must do but hygiene is not mere obedience or compliance. And it does not work in a day but it has a cumulative effect, if only that of not being destructive. The trick is not to say it is all one needs, or not to … More How to fix things
So, while I think that in part I do undue violence to myself on this weblog, and that I must change that, I also say that in many posts I am not “procrastinating” but attempting to call forth the person who writes, and who is a person I either hid very well, or tortured and … More And now, some fluff
If I stop accusing myself of procrastination and avoidance and recognize that these things are not rooted laziness or adolescent-style “rebellion” but fear, and they are also misguided efforts at protection (against yet greater self-abuse, I might add), it might help. What can I do for me today? Be gentle. I am so violent with … More I also think this
“Do you mean you are going to take more of a stand, rather than remain silent? I pride myself for being able to glimpse in a person that elusive quality of heightened awareness. YOU ARE TRULY BRILLIANT, GOD DAMNIT. Please just admit it.” All right. But the fact is that I am also so ashamed … More Finally: on not wanting to come out in public
This was what that psychotherapy got me in touch with and said was the real me, that I needed to come out of denial about being. It is true that as a small child I was very ashamed of being such a deficient and also inadvertently mean person. I was afraid of being thrown out … More That incredibly low self-esteem
The other thing the academic advisors do not understand is that quality of life does matter and should in fact come first. Any philosopher would tell you that. If there actually are people who only care about publishing certain books and teaching at the tertiary level and can do this well in any circumstances and … More And two or three post-points, or, “I just wanted to bask in your brilliant mind,” as my friend said
After this, we will go back to poetry. The idea that this is the greatest profession in the world is problematic because it is, if you have a good situation. If not, it is not, but one is constantly told that it should be, and will be next year in Jerusalem, for the deserving, when … More And the last point…
So I am happy now. I hope this meltdown meant progress, and was not just some strange distraction. Saldo: it is what my friend said, the lack of kindred spirits. I should also drop self-doubt and stop putting everyone else first; this idea that you must come last is some strange Calvinist residue that has … More Pour demain
coldhearted scientist وداد 