J. E. Pacheco, Morirás lejos.
On James Mill, progressive versus traditional education, and charter schools.
The other Foucault — what led him to politics?
Crackeros, novelists I should read.
I want to read but first I need to calm down. I don’t feel calm in small towns. I’d also like to live somewhere with bookstores, and other signs of intellectual life. On the weekends, I’d like to go out in nature. It wouldn’t be humid, and there would be mountains.
I’ve stopped categorizing posts or posting enough, and it has to do with a family crisis. I’ve considered announcing a hiatus or even declaring an end to the blog! But I haven’t decided yet. If you’ve followed my posts on Facebook you’ll know about the crisis, and about how it is forcing me to cure for once and for all some of the main reasons I started the blog–call it Roots of Reeducation. How to decide not to put oneself into pain, or accept it, is the question. Reeducation said you had to be in pain, which was a new idea to me; once I tried it, became that person, I did not know how to awaken from the bad dream. This blog is written as it were from prison, or from the Sleeping Beauty’s glass case.
I was thinking about how trauma or violence sends you to the survival level of life, or however you want to put it, and how of course you can’t think, then. I’ve got to go on some sort of hour-by-hour reassurement strategy, I think: since Reeducation I have had all anxiety all the time, anxiety I did not know how to name. Perhaps if I can recognize and name it better, I can manage or banish it somehow. I was thinking about how in academia you have to be such a highly developed person to deserve things like food and safety, be a bodhisattva to deserve basics and not to have to live amid constant threats.
There is this new book on Said which sounds dry, yet interesting.
Create online access to Dad’s Medicare account. His Medicare account number is his Social Security number.
Send Dad’s POA to Medicare.
Print POA and send with letter to every one of his MDs. Introduce myself and say I would like information on his condition. We want to make sure he is getting everything taken care of that needs to be and also make sure we know what all of his diagnoses are, and what the treatment program is.
I recycled my tattered copy of Atala but found in it these yellowed notes, that I will transcribe and decipher later. I see that I have always been interested in the same things.
Atala: le récit.
1. LES CHASSEURS. Chactas and his father are allied with Spaniards against Muscogles (Indians). Chactas is a prisoner of war, saved by the Spaniard López; he leaves to return to his own people but is caught and condemned again by the Muscolges. Here he meets Atala who has cnverted to christianity. She comes to talk to him every night as they march toward where he will be burned.
Atala tries to release Chactas; he wants her to go (with him? — I have to check on this) but she cannot because she is Christian. She has untied him from a tree, and they take a walk and cry. He feels lost in love, and she wants him to flee.
The name Atala means daughter of the palm-tree country.
Autrefois there was a vast empire in “septentrional” America; Louisiana was the new Eden; nature was powerful and wild (and is described at length). Chactas is of the Natchez people and he has “acheté la vertu par línfortune.” He has been taken as a galley-slave to Marseille and presented to Louis XIV; he has seen plays by Racine, and more. Now he is home, but he is blind. He loves France and wants to help the French, so he is happy to receive René, the civilized man who wants to become Indian.
They go hunting. René asks Chactas to tell his story; his story is this book.
I have to talk to a TIAA financial consultant and you can do it weekdays in the evening, and on Saturday. I changed back to the aggressive formula, after years (at their urging) on the “moderately aggressive” formula. I would have spent my entire life on the very aggressive formula if they had not always told me it was unwise.
I always said I would not retire until I was 80 and it would be wisest not to, but given what I am seeing my father go through at 93 I am wondering whether I might think about 75 — although I’ve got an 80 year old colleague who is fine.
I don’t get social security and I am afraid of running out of money in my nineties. Should I set up an annuity? I will soon have about $1M in all. But I have debts as well, and that with no pension or much real estate equity is not a lot of money if you expect a long old age, as I do.
I don’t think I live in the right place to be old. That would be the reason to retire sooner; if I am to move, I must do it when I am still young enough to create current connections and networks in the place.
I used to believe I would inherit more than I will. I thought I would buy an apartment in a place that was better to be old in, or any age in, and visit it when classes weren’t in. So I would live in two places and transition easily when I was truly old and really did retire. I don’t think I will be able to do this.
What will you do — especially if you only live where you live because you work there, and if it is not where you want to be old?
I want to make this. And I need to buy farm eggs this weekend.
Here is more for my article on the language of neoliberalism: for sports teams, one no longer says fans but “fan base.” The marketing department has taken over, and the “fan base” isn’t the fans but the media- and marketing catchment area.