1/ “Patriarchal bullshit.” Just do it–but the question is just do what. The times I have just done it when it wasn’t what I wanted to do, were times when really I should have just said no. 2/ Reeducation. How did I fall under its spell? Recent events are a dramatization of it. a) Person … More Things to talk about
This is a cheesy article in some ways but it has a list of types of emotional pain that are all results of internalization of mistreatment. Our whole department has these feelings and it is worth considering. We all need to realize that these feelings are imposed. How will I combat it? I will say … More On emotional pain
The other thing is that I just have so much pain and grief associated with this academic field that it is hard to function. People always said I must soldier on because it was what I had chosen — I had to bear my cross. Now they say they see it has not worked out … More The thing at the back of my mind that I wish were a palm
Why did you not ask for advice and information? Because I already knew that my father would not answer such questions. From this I had learned that answers would not be forthcoming from anyone. Axé.
…torture, is what is self-imposed, that is to say, is what I have a choice not to do, now. I have great difficulty distinguishing between depression … laziness … incompetence … refusal to use good strategies … self sabotage that is bad … and activities that may look like self sabotage but are not, because … More The self-imposed… And the chance discovery
It is a week or so early but I am declaring myself undepressed now for four months, although November is always stressful. I had an emotional crisis that I let run, so that I could see what it was. I could have shut it off by keeping busy, but I wanted to see what it was. … More Four months