1/ That AAUP grant report. Evans’ flight was $628 and his hotel was $349. We had planned on $943 and spent $977. That is what I think it was. I need to make this grant report. 2/ These headaches. I think they are repressed anger, frustration, lack of support, and also ANTI-SUPPORT, and from not … More More things

At what point and how? Male perspective. Broken male perspective. Women don’t talk. Transparency, unity, strategic planning. We needed a dean who would NOT cover for an incompetent or disengaged chair, or collude with chairs on personal agendas. ¿Qué quieres hacer? Domeneck. Axé.

This is a draft/outline, and it will morph. This goes to the What is a Scholar posts. Axé. The way to start: every bad academic decision has had to do with looking out for metrics and following career advice. (Examples.)I had scholarly advice for myself that often went in another direction (do One way to … More On metrics, voice, and academic advice

Now that I am speaking so openly, and feeling much more like a living person than a voice from beyond the grave, I might as well continue. The really difficult thing about being in Spanish in my department has been that French meets, so French knows what it is doing and knows what the university … More Not on Facebook

Today I yelped in pain all day on Facebook and it seems to have helped. It all comes down to: I can’t allow myself to serve infirm entities, or sacrifice identity for them (my mother, BJA, to some extent ISB, RSA, Xica, other minor instances, but my mother, Barry, and I guess Terry Mayers, come … More Voice

That feeling when you realize everything around you is designed to align your perspective with that of authority. It’s what I realized this month about Cajun culture, how the attempt to be kind to it and enjoy it is wrongheaded, I cannot make peace with it and it can never include me, because it is … More My research project

I’m going to have some self-respect this semester. That is the most fundamental thing the Cajuns took from me. I’m taking it back. YES my field has validity, YES I am a valid person, NO I am not ashamed to be research faculty, NO I am not oppressing you. YES I believe in shared governance … More As in

Trying to turn myself into someone who can live with the Cajun victim narrative … it’s the same operation as in 19th century Latin American literature, they are trying to say the perpetuation of slave society is liberation. I will work on this. Axé.

So again, it is: their political problem is not my psychological problem, or should not be. And it is political. Also: the psychological problems they have created with their politics are not my responsibility to solve. For instance, if they have made someone feel awful, I do not have to become a sacrificial victim to … More The program