Tonight I went to class, the studio class I take in the art department, and told the professor for the second week in a row that I was too tired to start a new project, but could only revise old projects, because I was teaching five classes and doing administrative work and had a research assignment and was writing one of those external grant proposals on the format of the sciences (i.e. complicated). The professor said I was still doing better than last year and I realized he was right.
I am doing better than last year because I decided that I wanted to, or had to; last year when they raised the teaching load I cut out other things like a supposedly sensible person but this year when they raised it again I took on more things, in self defense; I refused to sacrifice.
In Reeducation we learned that we should not be capable. To be capable was to be logical, which was to be “unfeeling,” and so on; we have talked about this before. My new insight was that in Reeducation one was not supposed to be grown up – that was the main sin – one could only prove one was human by being a child and not having decision making power; at the same time one could only prove “maturity,” which was desirable, by becoming pessimistic.
I, on the other hand, always wanted to be grown up, but was never interested in being “mature” in that way; I think there are a lot of free people who would agree with me on this.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 
Smart move. I’m spending Canadian Thanksgiving with three of my children this Sunday. The fourth is in Vancouver and having dinner with some of her classmates.
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!
It’s counterintuitive to all advice but I think I’m right. Benjamin Franklin, Michelangelo, etc., were always working on their various projects. I think refusing to do things you’re interested in is always a bad move, just as agreeing to do things you’re not interested in is – what is “correct” be d-d.
It’s like the students: it is said you must train them like puppies and herd them like cattle, but I think you should give them their heads, maybe like horses. Give them a bunch of choices and tell them what the standard advice on how to handle this is, and how you would handle this, but not just one answer.
[Even the toddlers, I mean those who literally are toddlers, I always let them choose their own juice (from what I have, of course, not so many) and they always draw with more interest and much better if they choose their own pencils, again from my limited collection, and their own juice.]
Exactly! We all like choices. And I always wanted to be grown up, and have been much happier as a grown-up, because of getting to do what I want to do and not what I’m told to do. It’s so much nicer to be happy than not. I have happily worked on my fellowship application and for the rest of the day I am going to grade papers in sets of 4, because that’s the number I can happily handle at one time, with breaks outside and not at the computer or reading. I think that this way I can get through quite a lot of papers without being miserable. It is almost the weekend so we shall sing, right?
Oui, naturellement! I think a lot of people are actually happier with unhappiness, or think it’s cool, or something, but I am not in that group.