Are the differences between Cajuns and other white Southerners actually so great? We know the atmosphere and vibration are different, and we can cite Catholicism, Tabasco sauce, French roots, accordions, and so on as specific signs of cajunisme. But in terms of the grievances they cite, don’t others have them? They lost their land and … More And
I wondered for years what my chair meant when he would insist I was oppressing the instructors. They were licensed to harass me, but I wasn’t doing anything to them except support them academically in every way I could, as he had asked me to do. Still, I kept hearing that I was oppressing them, … More Also
It’s my birthday! For my birthday, I will try to act henceforth as though I loved myself. It’s a very good project. What would it feel like to refuse to engage in arguments with others over my being and my right to exist? What would it feel like if I were immune to claims that … More December 24
I should stop tearing myself apart over this, I would like to be immune from it, but it feels as though I need to understand it so I can get it out of me. There is a fine line between thinking too much and thinking enough, I know. I don’t want to nurse resentment the … More Et encore
They’re either dogeared, or I’m not going to read them, and if I can stand to get rid of them, they must go. Ghattas, Black waveHemingway, For whom the bell tollsLunn, Marxism & ModernismMudimbe, The surreptitious speechTatum, Assimilation blues—, Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria? Axé.
All the effort we put in to tolerate where we were, to make life tolerable where we were, and to create a space where work could be done. It wasn’t possible to just ignore circumstances and do work, because we had to build a workspace. Axé.
I was to re-experience the feeling that people want to get rid of you, force you onto the street. I had this feeling from early on and had finally shaken it before I went into Reeducation. Shockingly, Reeducation wanted me to take that burden up again, take it up doubly. The basic message of analysis/Reeducation … More One of the last psychoanalytic posts – notes
I think I am over Reeducation. At least very close. I like my name Coldhearted Scientist but wonder whether I should get a new one for this phase. Axé.
Recently, I’ve had some days where I felt well here, bringing summer relaxation from Europe and keeping the bubble around me. Not all days, and right now I am not doing well. All of this is to say I shouldn’t prevent myself from feeling well, don’t need to transfer pain onto work, don’t need to … More Comment vivre
There was just something so unsettling about it, I assume maturity and good will as a rule and I am always surprised not to find it. One should be more suspicious, perhaps, but I don’t know. There’s been something deep about this interaction though, somehow related to my mother asking for so much effort and … More A strange interaction
coldhearted scientist وداد 