On Being New Faculty

This repost is dedicated, variously, to Clarissa, Feminéma, Jonathan Mayhew, Historiann, New Kid on the Hallway, Tenured Radical, and Undine, to a few others I have forgotten, to some interesting assistant professor blogs like Paper Chase and Uentdenckt that have disappeared. Remember, I am for the rights of adjuncts and I believe they should have … More On Being New Faculty

L’histoire, or, Conjugations and Declensions, or Something I Wrote Before Writing My Very Important Post

I am academically oriented in fact, but originally this industry was also important to me because it was the only place I knew I was competent. It was thus the only route to sustenance and safety, and I cared about it for those reasons as well as purer ones. That is why my first academic … More L’histoire, or, Conjugations and Declensions, or Something I Wrote Before Writing My Very Important Post

On Leaving

One of my colleagues said yesterday, “You have so many talents, so many competencies for so much, it is really admirable.” * The more I think about it the more I realize how deep the guilt is that keeps me in place, growing quieter each year. Let us review my sins, as I feel them, … More On Leaving

X

To A Spectre: 1. I am dismayed at the amount of destruction I have allowed to be wreaked upon me and that I have participated in wreaking. 2. I am clearing out files and finding old identity cards. I see the bright face of the person I helped to destroy, in the era in which … More X

On Advice

I do not want yet more discipline, I want to fall apart and sleep for a long time. Then, I want to work on my new life, not grind away at the old one on the theory that if I just motivate myself in the right way everything will be all right. Unfortunately I really … More On Advice

Asynchronous

The reason I am so depressed is that I am seeing so clearly how I have allowed as much of my life to be stolen as I have done. I usually shield myself from seeing this so clearly because the pain of it is as sharp as it is, but the panorama is in view … More Asynchronous