Also in Reeducation, it was important to suffer so as to prove one could feel pain (pain being the only actually admissible feeling). One could not feel pain and do something about it — that would be “impulsive.” One had to feel pain and “grieve” it, lament and suffer. I had always found that to … More Sur la souffrance
I had a realization about how Reeducation worked and what it killed via a comments thread on a different post. I could write a coherent post about that if I had time, and the comment is really just a pre-note, the thoughts in it are not well worked out at all. For now I am … More On Transference
Reeducation deauthorized. “You are not authorized to be a successful person. The degree of power you wield in your own life is highly inappropriate in a person of your background.” “You must disempower yourself. You must recognize that your happiness and integrity is an illusion based on denial. You are not authorized to live as … More Reauthorization. Stomping on Dat Whiteman.
It is the weekend, and we have found an interesting song. 18 July 1936 was the first day of the Spanish Civil War. There is a short 1938 film about it starring Juan Beigbeder, Raimundo Fernández Cuesta, Francisco Franco, Manuel Augusto García Viñolas, José Millán Astray, and Ramón Serrano Súñer, that I would like to … More Anda jaleo, jaleo
A: How unfair! I have gone through all of these contortions just because you asked, and now I am as destroyed as you so desperately claimed you wanted me to be — yet you are not giving me the award you promised! B: [Drunk on power.] Oh. I did not really care whether you did … More S/M or Torture 101
… a series of lessons in how to perfect absolute sadism toward oneself, particularly one’s intellectual self. No right to exist / to be who one was. No right to enjoy life. No right to think. No right to trust one’s perceptions. Academic and professional success reencoded as failure. No right to power in one’s … More Reeducation Was
Now I might really be over Reeducation, which was that in part because it involved not only becoming a professor in the United States and coming to live in the East. Today there are Mexicans working next door. Their voices sound like home. I realize once again how unheimlich it still is to me never … More Voice Four
The thesis of my article on “procrastination” that it is not about time management or lack of interest — or at least, it isn’t always. One problem can be what you have transferred onto it, in which case you will not make headway until you recognize that and transfer it off. The other problem is … More Voice Three
Despite all of my railings against the Twelve Stoners, despite my not wanting to visit their meetings because of the proselytizing that goes on, the self abuse one must witness in the name of God, and the temptation to consume nicotine with this heavily smoking crowd, I would be at such a meeting if there … More Beam Me Up
This new series of posts on voice is intended in part to work out some more ideas for my article on writing and “procrastination.” I believe one piece of that text has died on an editor’s desk, and my ideas have moved beyond what I sent out in any case. But if I get a … More Voice One
coldhearted scientist وداد 