A: How unfair! I have gone through all of these contortions just because you asked, and now I am as destroyed as you so desperately claimed you wanted me to be — yet you are not giving me the award you promised! B: [Drunk on power.] Oh. I did not really care whether you did … More S/M or Torture 101
Now I might really be over Reeducation, which was that in part because it involved not only becoming a professor in the United States and coming to live in the East. Today there are Mexicans working next door. Their voices sound like home. I realize once again how unheimlich it still is to me never … More Voice Four
A A major difference between myself and the persons I am expected to resemble appears to be that they never realized that they might be a contributing factor to a bad situation. I have trouble even imagining that anyone might not to consider that. I keep being told that if you tend to be a … More A. B. C. D. Errata. Footnotes.
Despite all of my railings against the Twelve Stoners, despite my not wanting to visit their meetings because of the proselytizing that goes on, the self abuse one must witness in the name of God, and the temptation to consume nicotine with this heavily smoking crowd, I would be at such a meeting if there … More Beam Me Up
At one irrational level I continue to believe that having access to a powerful self hurts those who wish that self were in them. I should therefore eradicate that self, as opposed to use it. This is how guilt is connected to access to self. The Christians would say: stop rejecting what God has given … More Voice Two
This new series of posts on voice is intended in part to work out some more ideas for my article on writing and “procrastination.” I believe one piece of that text has died on an editor’s desk, and my ideas have moved beyond what I sent out in any case. But if I get a … More Voice One
This post is being written in real time. There are posts coming up which actually predate it. Remember that this novel is modernist and follows no chronological order. I have declared independence at yet deeper levels and bringing more of myself out of the deep freeze where I have been keeping it, saved for later. … More Independence Day
I keep saying I have vanquished Reeducation but it is never quite true. Now, however, I think I have it by the gonads. (I hope to drive up my hit count by saying gonad.) If a degree and practicum were optional, if all that were absolutely required were to pass an exam, I would study … More How Was It for You? Terrible! And for You?
Much popular advice on handling emotional bullies is misguided, among other ways in that it replicates the bullying by placing the burden on victims and making them doubt themselves. That, I suspect, is partly because our culture sanctions bullying, and partly because it is really hard to understand if one is not familiar with it … More On Handling Emotional Bullies: Open Thread
Negotiations have taken a positive turn and I may go off strike soon. If I do I will still reserve the right not to post daily until after Labor Day, since I have ended up posting a great deal while on strike. Today I am located at the Grand Village of the Natchez Indians because, … More Grand Village
coldhearted scientist وداد 