Normally I find these blog tests silly and gimmicky, but the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test distinguishes the level of Dante’s Inferno to which one will be sent. It sends me to Limbo, land of the Virtuous Unbelievers.
If you are sent to Limbo, Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, where you find yourself upon the brink of grief’s abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.
The two best grades on this test are Limbo and Purgatory, which is for the Repentant Believers. If you do not make one of these grades, you will be sent to one of the circles of Hell. I was sure I would be sent to one such, and I was delighted with my results. Now you can take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 
I, however, have been sent to the Sixth circle of hell, for Heretics!
http://joannao.blogspot.com/2006/11/bad-to-bone.html
“Seventh Level of Hell – Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.”
Good thing Dante doesn’t write my destiny.
OK you two, I am impressed. Now I have taken the test again, trying to get worse. Actually, I put in my very best effort to get worse. I ended up like Paolo and Francesca, the characters in the Inferno who were supposed to be having a reading lesson but got caught by the winds of lust. In Hell they are carried around in circles by a VENTO INFERNALE.
This is the second level, which in Dante’s actual text, is considered the first.
“You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.”
wow – i must be real bad – i was sent to the 8th level…i think it’s because of all that pagan thinking…smile
Do you think Bush will end up at the 9th and lowest?
“This is the deepest level of Hell, where the fallen angel Satan himself resides. His wings flap eternally, producing chilling cold winds that freeze the thick ice found in Cocytus. The three faces of Satan, black, red, and yellow, can be seen with mouths gushing bloody foam and eyes forever weeping, as they chew on the three traitors, Judas, Brutus, and Cassius. This place is furthest removed from the source of all light and warmth. Sinners here are frozen deep in the ice, faces out, eyes and mouths frozen shut. Traitors against God, country, family, and benefactors lament their sins in this frigid pit of despair.”
I like this parlor game and I have now taken the test again, trying to be as honest as possible, and remember everything! My overall score was Limbo again, so I am a real lightweight.
However, I also scored HIGH in lust and heresy. It appears that by only changing a few answers, I might be able to get into those circles.
I was low on gluttony, avarice, and ire, but moderate on violence, fraud, and treachery. I would have expected the converse.
I was of course very low on repentance. This is correct. I rarely repent.
You said, “I rarely repent.”
Not even when you have made a mistake, or misjudged? When would you repent?
Well, only then, but I don’t know, ‘repent’ is just … so … Christian-seeming: it’s more like, I’d remedy. Or regret, which I do do sometimes. And hey, I thought you were underground studying for that GRE 🙂 ! But I knew you’d have to take a break sometime. –Z
I will be in the 2nd level of Hell with, none other than…Cleopatra! The 2nd level is where the lustful spend eternity. Things could be worse.