coldhearted scientist وداد

This conversation took place about five years ago, but I am still slightly amazed by it.

WM: Whereas you are in my opinion very good-looking; whereas you are not Catholic and will therefore not have Catholic hangups; whereas you are from California and should therefore be very liberal; and whereas we are friends; I hereby propose that we convert this friendship into Friendship With (Limited) Benefits.

PZ: Whereas I would only be interested in either a Wildly Romantic Affair or an Actual Relationship; whereas we have a certain friendship or at least camaraderie I would prefer not to ruin; and whereas not having Catholic hangups and being very liberal does not mean I am willing to provide services on demand, I hereby decline your rather stingy and self-serving offer.

WM: All right. Now, I am not arguing, and I want you to do what is best for you, but I am just curious. Why is an affair all right, whereas Friendship With (Limited) Benefits is not?

PZ: Because in the Business Model you propose, you are the one who decides how and where the lines are drawn. My refusal is not about Catholic Morality, it is about mutuality and freedom, and about not liking half measures.

WM: Not about morality … that is interesting and new to me. I still do not understand why, if a Wildly Romantic Affair would be all right, a Friendship With (Limited) Benefits would not. But … women are mysterious, I will think about it.

Anyway, I am friends with this whiteman. I believe I could explain why, although we are an unlikely pair – indeed, unsuited for either a Relationship or a Wildly Romantic Affair. Today I discovered that he owns six rifles, six shotguns, and a pistol. I think he is the most exotic friend I have ever had. I may ask him to teach me to shoot.

Axé.