coldhearted scientist وداد

From the Mad Nowhere Woman, via Kiita. I am guilty of the bolded items. Bold and in italics means I have been guilty of these activities in the past, but given them up.

YOU MIGHT BE A GRADUATE STUDENT IF:

you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate;

you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet;

you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read;

you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar;

you rate coffee shops (or bars) by the availability of wifi and outlets for your laptop;

everything reminds you of something in your discipline;

you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event;

you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper;

there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider “yours”;

you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche;

you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library;

you look forward to summers because you’re more productive without the distraction of classes;

you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin;

you consider all papers to be works in progress;

professors don’t really care when you turn in work anymore;

you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text;

you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area;

you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation;

you reflexively start analyzing those Greek letters before you realize that it’s a sorority sweater, not an equation;

you find yourself explaining to children that you are in “20th grade”;

you start referring to stories like “Snow White et al.”;

you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta or cup noodles without getting scurvy;

you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry;

you have more photocopy cards than credit cards;

you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as “personal communication”;

you can identify universities by their internet domains;

you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels;

you have difficulty reading anything that doesn’t have footnotes;

you understand jokes about Foucault;

the concept of free time scares you;

you consider caffeine to be a major food group;

you’ve ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied;

Friday or Saturday nights spent studying no longer seems weird;

the prof doesn’t show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway;

you appreciate the fact that you get to choose *which* twenty hours out of the day that you have to work;

you still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you’ll get over it);

you can read course books and cook at the same time;

you schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come;

you hope it rains during spring break so you can get more studying done;

you’ve ever worn out a copy card;

you find taking notes in a park relaxing;

you find yourself citing sources in conversation;

you’ve ever sent a personal letter with footnotes; and,

you have days when you can’t bring yourself to do any work, so you “keep busy” by procrastinating (or blogging).

Axé.