WM: Do you think A caused B, which, as we know, is causing C? Do you think we might still be vulnerable to the same error we made when we chose A? Do we need to consider the underlying causes which may have impelled us to choose A?
Z: I think A may have been a contributing factor to B and thus also to C. But everyone makes mistakes and we made one when we chose A. If the question is to remove B and remedy C, with A being a methodology we tried out and abandoned some time ago, it is most useful now, I think, to simply classify A as an error, put it behind us, and concentrate on B and C.
WM: Why do you want to consider B but not A?
Z: Because B still exists, whereas A has been removed, discredited and abandoned.
WM: You are taking this conversation too far into the past! You are overanalyzing! Let us consider C only, so we can get things done!
Z: I am not the one who wanted to enter into a rehash of A. B, however, still exists and must be removed if we are to remedy C, which we agree we should.
WM: [Starts to cry.*]
* Note: This whiteman did not really start to cry, he pulled a verbal abuse scene. I have decided bullying is a form of temper tantrum. (Bullies, as we know, think resisting them is a form of temper tantrum, but that is another matter.)
My friend the ex-prisoner used to carry around a pacifier for these situations. When abusive men started to lose it he would pull the pacifier out of his pocket and say, do you need this? He says it really stopped them in their tracks.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 
Aha. Notice how “over-analyzing” is the charge made to women for being intelligent, or being right.
The other commonly made charge is being “too scientific” or “too unfeeling.” But again, it is about plain old intelligence.
I don’t know. Somebody once told me in a particular instance that they thought I was feeling misunderstood — as if being misunderstood was a temporary feeling one could have, rather than a matter of one’s communication not working.
I often “feel misunderstood” – although it is perhaps that I feel alienated because of actually being misunderstood.
That’s kind of what I meant. Actually it was a right winger who said that to me, quite some time back. He meant it kindly, but actually he was misunderstanding me in saying that I felt misunderstood in that way. I didn’t desire an emotional feeling of togetherness, but rather than my point should be treated seriously.
Ah yes – but it seems that the typical person wants the feeling of togetherness, not to have their point treated seriously. Also, people offer the togetherness as an alternative to treating the point seriously, which I always experience as a strange power move.
Hm. In my drunken haze which was most of yesterday, I seem to have misplaced my primary pair of spectacles…which is annoying.
—
Yeah, maybe most people realise that asking for understanding is too high a price to demand for little them. Nonetheless, I think that without understanding the friendship is only going to be shallow.
Shallow, yes, but that is the mall-based existence of today! 😉 It’s a problem when you actually need to get a point across.
yeah, yeah. And as the Japanese say, “because of this, I irritate.”