“Para empezar a cantar / pido permiso primero.”
–Corrido de Benjamín Argumedo
It is the weekend, and I am singing the Internationale but more importantly, a set of corridos to increase my levels of machismo and mexicanidad. Now that we are to be armed at the university, I may just have to put on my carabina 30-30, otherwise known as a Winchester, and ride there on my horse.
Here is the Antonio Aguilar singing the corrido of the Toma de Zacatecas, a town I really like.
Here, meanwhile, is a beautiful 1935 recording of the Corrido de Benjamín Argumedo.
Argumedo was not an entirely admirable character, but according to some parts of his legend he challenged his opposing general to single combat and sang:
“Oiga General Mungía,
también soy hombre valiente,
quiero que aquí me afusile
al público de la gente.”
I am about to say to certain whitemen, Señores: ustedes no saben quién soy yo, pero ahora se van a enterar. Ustedes no tienen la menor idea de lo que es ser hombre y yo sí. De hoy en adelante ya no voy a aguantar sus pequeñeces. Ténganse por advertidos. No sé si todavía leen esta bitácora pero sigue aquí, y más les vale estudiarla.
WHEREAS the position for which we are hiring has been a revolving door for many years;
WHEREAS enrollments are low in the kinds of courses he and I most want to teach, and coordination is needed so that these courses actually make;
WHEREAS the secretary, who is now in charge of scheduling, is not a professor in our discipline and does not always make the most practical decisions about which intermediate and upper level courses should be offered and when;
WHEREAS one of the few things it is in our power to do to make the faculty happy, and retain them, is by giving them course schedules which work for them and the students, so that they are not frustrated but are, rather, able to engage in some creative, interesting teaching in at least one of their courses;
WHEREAS our sub-unit has been in disarray for four years due to your nefarious activities and also your collusion in my harassment by an assistant professor and an associate one;
WHEREAS the new hire does not really speak English, has not been a professor before and will need orientation if he is to function here;
WHEREAS if we do not have sub-unit meetings to coordinate our work on course offerings, enhancement grant proposals, speakers, study abroad, honor societies, club guidance, film society, and similar activities related primarily to us, this person will not be integrated into the unit in a functional way;
WHEREAS if he is not he will ask me questions, as I am the in field senior person who speaks his language, so that I will have to guide him on my own, which is not really functional;
I HAVE SPOKEN with every member of my sub-unit and they all agree.
WE WILL MEET monthly as a sub-unit starting in August, whether you like it or not, and YOU WILL approve our activities. We will have a constitution and follow Roberts’ Rules of Order. Meetings will be open. However no manipulation, no strong-arming, and no shouting by you, your lackeys, or your running dogs will be allowed.
I DECLARE that this is the only way to function rationally and to continue to meet rising accreditation standards. It is also, as I have suggested, the only way to make it possible for the new person not to feel disoriented and marginalized, so that they can develop their work and be retained.
I REITERATE that it is not I but you who are oppressive. If you do not like my announcement, I invite you to grieve my flashing eyes, my floating hair, my shining teeth, and the curl in the middle of my forehead. I am stronger than you are and this has already been made materially clear to you.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 
Hate those running dogs.
Wow, Prof. Z–yours is one dysfunctional work environment. Good luck to you and your new colleague–you and he will need it. I once took a spin in one of those “revolving door” positions–and like my predecessors for the previous 13 years, I revolved (or evolved?) out of it. Here’s hoping that you and he can make it different this time.
Historiann – keep on saying that (that this is a dysfunctional work environment). I am angry enough about it and tired enough of it and so on that I may start writing directly about it here – I could use some support!
It is a dysfunctional work environment that you are in, z. I know: I see the connections between yours and mine. If my “sub-unit” could disengage from the person going against its will, I would be very happy. But as it stands all the senior people are leaving it and the juniors are too afraid. I salute you and your troops.
I’m breaking my silence to wish you good luck.
Hi Hattie, and thank you, and welcome!
Kiita, well I am glad I am not the only one – I tell my friends about this place and they cannot believe it, think I must be inventing, but each detail is weirder than the last.
One of the people in that position (the one we are hiring for) a few years ago called this place an “esperpento” of a university. See:
http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esperpento
Go Zero!
Gracias Servetus – keep on saying that! I’m taking that as encouragement to blog about the situation more openly. I am not sure whether to do it here or in my secret site in which I am not a professor in Louisiana, but middle management in a New York construction firm. My chairs and dean both know of this blog so it could be bad to discuss what could turn into a grievance in a direct way here. On the other hand I would love to – I am not naming names and I am not claiming to be at a real Lousiana university, but at a place called Vichy State University which came into existence after universities here were consolidated in the wake of Hurricane Zoraida.
I would really love to discuss the whole thing here, it is where I can discuss these things the most directly with people who have input based on experience but are good about not projecting their own issues or imagining that I am the same as them, or the same as someone they know, etc.
Maybe if I say I am at Vichy State University, in the Department of Angolan Studies [Angola being the name of the flagship state penitentiary] … what do you think? Or, if it is going to be Angolan Studies, to continue the Portuguese theme, Salazar State University [Salazar having been the Fascist dictator corresponding to Spain’s Franco]?
I sort of like it: Salazar State University, Department of Angolan Studies. I like that better than my original thought, Vichy State University, Department of Guantanamo Studies. Much better.
Except that Angolan Studies does not fit in with most of what I am talking about. Maybe I’ll just say Comparative Literature and Latin American Studies. To my knowledge there is no university in Louisiana which has full administrative units in *both* of these (inter-)disciplines … and if I claim both, it will be hard to figure out where my main line is technically … even though it is clear from the blog, if it is read closely, that I’m 51% in Spanish, that there are English and French professors around me … ? … right … ?
I am truly fishing for advice on anonymization because I would really, really like to spill some beans here, I think it would help me.