So, after going out to dinner where I discovered a number of shocking facts and more shocking hypotheses, I have made grades. Despite my earlier complaints, some awards are due. Various random individuals did well, but in terms of groups bouquets go to:
1. GREEKS, ATHLETES, and STUDENT GOVERNMENT. You did not use to study, but now you do.
2. ARMED FORCES OF THE UNITED STATES, including ROTC, RESERVES, and VETERANS. You always did study. Congratulations once again.
3. BLACK WOMEN. You are the best. Do you have any idea of the nature of the letters I could write recommending you to graduate and professional schools?
4. WORKING CLASS WHITE MEN. You are stellar. I suspect you already know I will write you good letters. It is true, I will.
5. ALL TRANSFER STUDENTS FROM A CERTAIN REGIONAL UNIVERSITY IN ANOTHER SOUTHERN STATE. I am going to have to check out the faculty at this institution and find out how they do it. All o’ y’all are writing like Harvard persons. Carry on.
Brickbats go to:
1. BLACK MEN. I am glad you helped get the vote out for Barack Obama, but no extra credit was promised for that in this class. Flash your blue, green, and grey eyes at me all you want to. I am looking at your paper. “Because it was what I thought you wanted to hear” is not a sufficient defense of your thesis. Get with the program.
2. That young woman who was failing and pulled an A on the final without cheating. “Because I studied this time” reveals the errors of your usual ways. You pass, though, because you have shown at the eleventh hour that you can do it.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 