A: How unfair! I have gone through all of these contortions just because you asked, and now I am as destroyed as you so desperately claimed you wanted me to be — yet you are not giving me the award you promised!
B: [Drunk on power.] Oh. I did not really care whether you did that or not, and I never really intended to give you an award. I just wanted to see if I could get you to do it.
*
Meanwhile in bloglandia, assistant professors are discussing ways in which they are being misused. We at my institution have so taken this to heart that I have an assistant professor who misuses me.
I met others like him when I was younger, and told them to fuck off. It was the right thing to do but I am not allowed, so I have to use toddler speak on him and I am practicing.
I am disgusted by all of this because I really think the use of toddler speak is condescending and also because I think fuck off is the phrase that would work.
This colleague is very unprofessional — having said, for instance, that another of our colleagues is “too old and ugly to rape” [sic] but that I am not yet. I, however, must remain very “professional,” so I have written and practiced many sentences I can say.
The key to the use of all these sentences is that one must speak very laconically. No anger, impatience, or frustration can show. It must be remembered that this person cannot be redeemed by me. Therefore my goal in every conversation must not be to interact, but to disengage.
Real Life, Real Time Sentences To Use, Not Necessarily Out Loud, But Definitely Within Myself, With That Colleague Who Chases Me Down Everywhere.
I am sorry I cannot be the kind of colleague you say you would like.
I, too, would like a colleague of that type.
The reason we cannot be that kind of colleagues is not misanthropy on my part.
It is poor behavior on yours. [This is the most fundamental issue.]
You do not get to decide what how I spend my time. [This is the second most fundamental issue, for individuals.]
You do not get to be the sole interpreter of reality in this department. [This is the second most fundamental issue, for the group.]
I cannot be your therapist, or your punching bag, or the girl who provides you an audience. I have actual colleagues.
I cannot be your therapist, or your punching bag, or the guy you go out to drink and talk smack with. I have actual friends.
I do not deserve to be treated that way.
I do not have to put up with it.
I will not put up with it.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 
Whilst it may be fairly well known and accepted that the “hysteric” has no core self, it is less well known, I think, that the sadist has no core self either. And what I have found, in fact, is the more he leans on his would-be victim, the more his centre of gravity is lost and his core self is whittled away.
At least I have never met a bully/sadist who had any magnetic allure for me. (I think they would have that, though, for somebody who was sick, and who would therefore misread the sadist’s nature as representing something other than sickness.) The bully/sadist lacks something essential – spontaneity and joy in life.
To me sadist = someone you have to cater to and take care of because you have no means of survival and s/he is the only person interested enough in you to support you. Honestly, it was what I was taught beginning very early on as my current role and also the destiny for which I was practicing.
As we know, I escaped this for a while but since Reeducation it is really hard not to react to sadists with caring, and not to be convinced my survival depended upon their perception that I was (and also thought I was) serving them up a normal life and making them look good to the world.
That is why they scare me — I know they elicit this reaction. That is why we have group solidarity against that Blackguard here — ze can do a lot of damage but mostly to me and I am having none of it, and I am not engaging in or witnessing a fight over it either. It is a question of freezing this person so they either behave or get bored and go.
There’s that, too. Many parasites can change aspects of the biological functioning of their hosts, so that this serves the parasite and its needs. The parasite does not need exceptional intelligence to do so, it is more an unconscious adaptation on the part of the parasite.
Yes. That is why we cannot, as a group, allow that. But rather take it as an opportunity to cohere differently as a group. Me, personally, I am prepared for him to try some new terrorist tactics. I wish I knew what they were so I could plan, but I do not, so all fronts must be ready. I have a month, though, and school will be starting and busy — I think it is a question of never being caught by phone or caught alone with this person.
You are right that it actually takes a community, and not single individuals, to prevent it — kind of like preventing the spread of swine flu.
Also there is the incorrect application of social darwinism — that ppl think that if they can get you all into a tizzy, it’s because of their superior intelligence. (So this is a very common thing in middle school and on the Internet.)
Yes. And this person really has me in a panic because he is so invasive. That is why the antidote is to have huge lungs all full of breath.
Can you report this person to the police?
Not really, but they can file a grievance against me for not catering to them enough. It´s a new hire, untenured assistant professor, etc.