10 thoughts on “Considering

  1. December 1: Sum up the year in a word: Mexico.’
    December 2: What keeps you from writing: believing I must go into an anxiety state to do it, or that it is a form of self harm, or that doing it is proof that I am defective and need a really painful and perhaps lethal cure, or that I will be punished for doing it, perhaps with death.

  2. A time this year you felt most alive: walking from Libreria Pendulo to Cuauhtemoc that night.

  3. Today’s question is: How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

    I say: gosh, I don’t need to cultivate, it comes over me all the time. But I’d like more of it of course, and what I could and should do is more hiking and boating, be out in nature more, this increases wonder greatly and I do not do it nearly enough.

  4. Today’s theme is letting go. This year I let go of the authority of the friend who supported and defended Reeducation.

  5. Today’s question is what is the last thing you made. This exercise is seeming sort of lame, like, really designed for non reflective persons, or non creative ones, since I make a lot of stuff and don’t need to make more, but need and want to do more academic writing. I made Danish red cabbage last night, and also a really good spaghetti sauce with organic tomatoes and peppers from that coop. I had lettuce from my own garden and I made vinaigrette.

    Side note that I may turn into a post. I resent people who preach about the need for creative outlets. I already eat food I made myself and in some cases even grew myself, on plates I made myself. I make my web pages from scratch in HTML. I enter poetry and prose in creative writing contests. I do not like to play musical instruments and I paid my dues on that as a child. I played three of them, three, and I sang in a chorus. I can knit, sew, and crochet, although I do not like to do these things. When, oh when, will you people who insist women do art be satisfied and let me get back to science?

  6. Today’s prompt is on community. I found a community of people destroyed by Reeducation and joined it, and I really learned a lot. Communities to join next year: Mexico, which includes California.

  7. Beautifully different: being able to actually see instances of objective chance, surrealist found objects, all over the place.

    Party: the scene at the Libreria Pendulo, before I walked home.

    This reverb exercise was bad to start with and is really going south. Clio has snarky alternative prompts that are really refreshing and a lot more useful and profound.

  8. Apud Clio: Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

    Not bad, getting a little better. Still, not quite interesting enough. Let’s take this somewhere else:

    Prompt: What was the most unpleasant or disturbing thing that you learned about yourself this year? In other words, did you learn or do anything that made you question some fundamental belief that you held about yourself? Or worse, confirmed something about yourself that you didn’t want to believe?

    Chez Clio: my vice: telling people off; my newly understood unpleasant characteristic: knowing how to speak abusively and wanting to sometimes.

    Wise decision: to insist on getting more serious in analysis.

  9. Today’s prompt is action. What pops into mind: stop torturing self, and sign up for LSAT. The not torturing myself is so that I can still do academia, and in general.

    Clio’s prompt was: Prompt: Why do you specialize in the field that you study? I don’t mean in general, like “history” or “literature” or “medicine” or even “library science,” I mean the particular specialty in that area? What were you trying to understand and why? Where did that line of inquiry lead you?

    Avant-gardes: to become valid, like my father, and because they use language in a rebellious way. Latin America: because I got fascinated with it in 6th grade, being already fascinated with Spain. Some of the authors I work on: because they deal with pain and abuse and power. The question of race: my first original research insight in field, but it was because people were lying about what was going on right in front of them.

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