To new faculty:
The reason I am not out drinking with you and being a “fun” colleague is that I am in a meeting to ensure continued funding for your position. I am not telling you this because there is no reason to raise your stress levels this week.
I may point out, though, that the reason you can smugly say your university has written tenure requirements is that we wrote them, possibly while you were discussing the dullness of those who actually do administration and service.
To students:
I find foreign language textbooks and websites as cumbersome as you do, and looking at them I feel as overwhelmed as do the least skilled of you. The material itself is not difficult, although there is a trick to it. But all the books and book systems are too complicated for me, including the good ones.
I cannot tell you this because I, unlike you, found other ways to study and the TAs never knew I wasn’t really using the book, and because this book has in it the kinds of exercises I would make up for myself, were I learning this language.
I cannot tell faculty this because they were obedient foreign language students, not renegades.
You can tell:
I am inundated this term with lower division students, instructors, and assistant professors. I have a total of about 100 of these entities to deal with, if you add all the groups together. I also have upper division and graduate students, and associate and full professors present, but not enough.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 