When I was younger than I am now, people were always very concerned I might fail. I did not understand why since I had never failed and did well easily, but I did know I was to be especially careful and follow certain really safe paths. “You can’t, you mustn’t, you shouldn’t,” are still a heavy burden to carry. Added to these, though, when I became an assistant professor, was the warning: “Someone is out to get you, be careful.” I did not then and do not now understand that warning, which I have recently received again – this time from our newest hire.
The first time I received it, many years ago, I asked what my warner meant and what they thought I should do. Did they mean danger was imminent, that I should observe my alleged assailant and find out what they were actually doing – ask about it – what? No, they said, “nothing is happening, and there is nothing you should or can do, but they are out to get you, just be careful.”
I asked: if there is nothing I should or can do, then what does “being careful” consist of? And, if there is nothing I should or can do, and if I cannot know what the actual problem is, what is the point of even worrying? The answer I got was, “just be careful.” I said well look, if whatever is going on is terribly bad, it may not be in my control anyway. Let me know if things develop such that you can tell me anything concrete. In the meantime, there are a lot of other projects on our agendas for today, so let us work on those. The response to that was a really surprised look, and that was the end of that conversation. I still do not understand what that surprised look was about.
I still do not know, in a practical sense, what that “being careful” would mean. In the present case, the new hire means a student who is a little needy; he believes she is much more problematic than I realize, and that I will not be able to handle her; I do not understand why he believes these things or why he is so concerned – beyond noting that I am sometimes kinder than I want to be, and could afford not to try so hard.
More broadly, though: I do not understand the point of these vague warnings, but I do notice that they seem to be the stuff of assistant professor conversation in various places. What does “be careful, I am your friend and I know you really need this warning, but I cannot give further details” mean, and why is it said? (Does the warner mean they are themselves the danger?)
Advice from me:
Good, and perhaps even essential preparation for the tenure track would actually be an office job involving a lot of office politics.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 