The sun is so bright, the light is almost as white as it is in June at the 50th parallel. I stayed up impractically late, and I slept late. I am going to give this up but I like to sleep mornings in sunny rooms.
I am not sick any more and I want to spend the afternoon outdoors, but:
→I must do all necessary things for my classes today, and some bureaucratic work.
→I have to remember to send paperwork to the graduate division as well.
→Another thing the house needs is its exterior windows washed.
→I have to apply to this program, whose deadline is March 4.
And it is staggering, the amount of violence I have done myself and had visited upon me. I have to look at damage done — truly unnecessary damage, pointless violence — and because it is evident in every file.
I stopped talking to various academic friends because one does not want anyone to see one is in abusive relationships, or impose upon anyone by involving them as a witness. I could not even read things written by friends because that was like seeing them, implicating them.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 