99. The cognitive dissonance. You must believe you have a certain life, and you must produce what you could produce if you had it, while actually living another and producing things from that life (which you must hide if you wish to get ahead, because in the land of Ahead, worthy people have not had to do these things).
1001. To get away from the people who said you should not do it and could not do it and are doing it wrong.
ANTIDOTES
Authority. What I dislike about academia is that one has no authority; one’s expertise disqualifies one (“because you have a Ph.D from Berkeley we have hired you, as we need to list this kind of expertise on our books, but you are not allowed to actually use it here”). Take appropriate authority anyway. In everything. That includes teaching.
Research. It is what I came for and the more time I make for it the better things go.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 