On television, and on the next step

There is Amar en tiempos revueltos, and there is also Isabel la Católica. I would love to just watch all of these things on RTVE and withdraw from the world entirely. But it is a beautiful fall now, my favorite season outdoors.

What is the next step:
should I consider denial, magical thinking, evasion, avoidance, not taking responsibility — does any of this apply to me? (There are things I am hiding from, but do the words listed name the phenomenon accurately?) Is this the next step, even, or a future one?

The next step:
maintain the first. Name the things that feel problematic (e.g. “this is an imposition”) and notice the destructive things I say to myself. Rather than adhere to any kind of discipline, even “be good to yourself” (although that is still a good lemma to remember), think: integrate.

Also: the point of writing these papers is actually therapy. Even if they are not good, or original, working on them is therapeutic.


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