C’est dur: anxiety and splitting, encore

…but then again not; who else has the luxury to work out these problems?

Today, besides teach and grade and go to meetings: communicate; find that paper; work on mine; print the course poster; send the course poster around; do one practical thing; go running; sleep. And create more course posters, and look at the list of appointments and errands I have.

This paper should be reorganized around the ideas I had this morning: start with the question of difficulty, subjectivity … Vallejo is not interested in certain kinds of avant-gardes and certain kinds of theory may or may not be fitting (although I liked that Deleuzian reading).

But most of all one is not to self-destroy. It amazes me how much I learned about that; in Reeducation we were required to do that. I want to talk about history of work today, and to consider this vertical split I seem to have — enormous emotional pain, carefully cordoned off.


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