Dysregulation, or a term, emotional dysregulation.
I realize now that when Reeducation said I had no feelings, or could not feel my feelings, it meant that according to it, I should be dysregulated, based on its interpretation of my background. So I had to be dysregulated and hiding it, or I was not dysregulated but due to my background wasn’t qualified not to be, which was unfair.
Also, this seems to be a large basis of psychotherapy: you are dysregulated and are to get regulated by thinking differently about the world. That’s very different from what is needed for victims of trauma or abuse. “You must be imagining it, let’s train you to act as though what is happening were not happening or as though what is about to happen were not.”
So for example, you learn to tell yourself that the fire consuming your house might not be a fire, you won’t know for sure unless it burns you, so rather than take precautions or evacuate you will approach it, to teach yourself that it is not as bad as you fear. That, of course, is ridiculous.
In any case, it’s very interesting to learn that one has the right to be regulated on one’s own steam, and to take real dangers seriously. Honestly, I thought I had lost those rights in 1991, when the psychotherapeutic aspect of Reeducation started. I have now felt as calm and stable as I did before Reeducation for several days.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 