Self-limitation
“Heroic” self-sacrifice
–one of my self-limiting habits is staying up too late, so as to feel exhausted–
You are too much / too challenging / we do not love you / we wanted a different kind of child / find a way to diminish yourself or we will put you out on the street
“You don’t know yourself, but we do”
Do not think you can ever stand on your own feet. You are incompetent/mentally disturbed, and in constant danger because you do not see your deficiencies or accept your limitations
I tend to hide from the world, that is from certain activities, for these reasons.
And this early situation has been repeated, with people who are jealous or too challenged, so it becomes an repeated trauma, not just a memory. (That is what I mean when I say Reeducation replicated my first education. Actual education came in between.)
Axé.
- As we remember from years of thought on this blog, calling this hibernation “procrastination” or avoidance is unhelpful because it suggests that efficiency (not more rest, more self-compassion) is the answer
- The hiding-out is its in a way its own kind of self-harm, though (and calling it “dysfunctional” also won’t help, it is more useful just to think of it as self-harm, tout court)
coldhearted scientist وداد 