“We assume you must suffer and live a small life because we cannot believe you are capable of more, or could imagine more. We do not believe you could be serious about anything, or that any of your interests could be more than half-hearted hobbies or talk.” Yes, one should have been able to rise … More And it is about this, ultimately
…is the time a woman colleague and I had to be our department’s MLA interviewing committee because only we had papers in the MLA, so only we had any funding or any reason other than hiring to go. I remember the department being scared and worried and I thought it was because this gave us … More Somehow related
…or we will be derisive toward you and say you are not serious, or that you are a traitor to our cause. But I am not cut out to be a caretaker and I am more atmosphere sensitive than some. I think that teaching remedial courses to students who do not want to be in … More Take a job, any job
Dame Eleanor Hull has returned, and it is great. Meanwhile, here is an interesting table of contents which shows what the world was like when I undertook my first serious research project. Had I read this issue of this journal more closely then, I would be yet more intelligent now, but I was reading older … More Revista Iberoamericana, o, hoy estoy mucho mejor
I see something now. For Reeducation, work was bad — it was just to be gotten through, I see darkly. Meanwhile, things one does to feel well were not considered positive but were put on a par with drugs and alcohol. By treating yourself well to feel well, you were dampening pain that needed to … More Capitalism?
Always, working on Vallejo, except for those seminar papers I wrote before things got serious, I did not consider the project mine. It was always an obligation, a kind of caretaking activity, something for someone else, something to placate, something to not offend someone else and to be good enough as an offering. This is … More Et voilà encore
I want to buy an external hard disk for all my files, from all the devices, all the jump drives, as an archive: the one Ring to rule them all, as it were. I was going to have that all in the Cloud but this is too unstable. I want to say, as I have … More More on Osorio and life
Solstice. And this year for Christmas, remember, I will meditate and center upon myself. I will not allow people to run over me, no matter how much they need to run over someone. I will place myself first, no matter how “selfish” this is. I will honor myself. If I had been allowing myself to … More La busco y busco
Yes it can, but I have to own it and myself and not consider that it is something I owe. I can almost feel the existence of the person who could do this. It all has to do with not writing in my own voice, and writing with the feeling someone is standing over my … More Can this fucking Vallejo paper be my paper?
Caretaking, and required caretaking, and coerced caretaking are traumatic for me. I took care of my mother from birth to college and I gave her everything I had, and I gave her everything I could after that; all of this was more than I had, really, and I am in the red, as it is … More On research as caretaking
coldhearted scientist وداد 