I woke up noticing that a large part of the anxiety and precarity is financial. I should do yoga and meditate so that I recognize this when it comes up and set it aside. How to increase income: promotion. The rest of it is the self-care issue which is really the self-love issue, as we … More Dimanche matin
I woke up thinking the sheets were comfortable and the sun was out again, and that a week on the beach doing nothing was all I needed. I never have such excursions since the cost is that of a conference or a month in Mexico or a week visiting family, and seems utterly extravagant since … More The morning revelation
I was thinking of the beautiful light, the January sky, the clear winter days when you can have the windows open. I was thinking of some people I know who do not converse. People for whom every conversation is a battle, and whose sentences are pre-emptive strikes against an imagined enemy. How they defend unhappiness … More Ce matin
I like to get up and start writing down the interesting thoughts I have during the night, but this seems to depend upon being back home, or somewhere homelike. Here I like to see the light break but I am then always struggling against anxiety, pain, grief, how did I get here, how can I … More Le jour se lève
A friend writes, out of the blue: When you were younger you maybe didn’t need to adjust to being in the 99th+ percentile of IQ because you had genuine peers around you who were also smart. It’s tougher now because you don’t have the same access to smart people that you used to have. I … More Further reasons why it is not “the best profession in the world”
What I said to Bérubé: If it is unfair to ask people to spend $1200 to get to a 20-minute interview, and we are against elitism, then perhaps it is also unfair to ask people to spend $1200 in hopes of catching an editor’s attention. How do we make everything truly fair? How do we … More About conference interviews
So, as I have announced elsewhere, my key word for 2014 is power, remembering that one does in fact have power. In Reeducation we were to be powerless, to succumb to the effects of our worst experiences, and to disbelieve our own perceptions because we were, it was alleged, born with permanent defects that meant … More Dolce anno nuovo
So I am now over it. Over the current bout of nostalgia for places and activities and lives I missed. Over my rage at having succumbed to the pressure to renounce these things. I still say that what I do not like about professors is that they are not aware of any other interesting jobs–they … More 2014
…that I am really angry about being pushed to things by people who know nothing of what they are discussing and of me. They think that academic jobs are nice, that all other jobs are wicked, and that I have no skills. Yet it is very important to them that I have an academic job. … More And so you can see
One of the things about academic jobs is that you need to be a good caretaking type. I am not interested in this and would not go into it professionally but I can see that people who are interested in geriatric care, care of disabled children, and so on, are people better suited to most … More Now I see
coldhearted scientist وداد 