…that I am really angry about being pushed to things by people who know nothing of what they are discussing and of me. They think that academic jobs are nice, that all other jobs are wicked, and that I have no skills. Yet it is very important to them that I have an academic job. I am seething at everyone who has lectured on at me like this for so long.
I am seething more the people who have seen that they were wrong about everything and are now pushing me to retire … all right, I was wrong, they say, why don’t you retire, then?
Well: to be able to retire so soon before retirement age, in the first place, I would have had to have a lucrative job, not an academic one, so that would be unrealistic even if desired.
Next: I wanted a career. An academic career was not my first choice once I found out what these were really like, but I wanted a career and did not want to be a housewife. I have committed to some research projects because others wanted me to have an academic job, and I will not have them wrenched out of my hands now just because people have finally understood that academic jobs are not what they thought and that my plans and skill levels were better and higher than they thought.
L’enfer, c’est les autres.