Now it’s been a month since I committed to not doing anything self-destructive and to put my interests first. I’ve never done this before and it is very interesting. And difficult. I suffer from more anxiety than I realize. It’s frustrating because people think anxiety is excessive worry, about things that are not real. Treatments … More Hace un mes
The lady at the shoe repair says we should take Vitamin E and use No. 7, and I believe her, it’s worth trying. I need a good but inexpensive product so I can use lots of it. But which one? Must I get the whole package? Probably–I don’t have to use all of the pieces … More No. 7
They are destructive to you. Don’t help them. Yes, it is sad that you have not understood this fully before and have in that way been complicit in the destruction of yourself, but it is very good you see it now and can stop colluding. And you will find you heal somewhat. Even seeing what … More The rule!
You should log the things that happen each day or week, I have decided. I always thought of diaries as cursi but they are meditative, and it’s good. I dreamed of a humiliating conversation at work, the kind that always happens. I’m asked how to improve the program, and I make recommendations based on national … More Log, and dream
Someone said: “Часто дети нарциссических родителей вырастают созависимыми. И потом слушаются каждого приказа нарциссов-родителей, обслуживают их, как слуги, притом, что родители здоровы в целом, стараясь, выслужившись, получить любовь, и руководимые ощущением токсического стыда.” Axé.
Here’s Alicia A. on it and clearly, I’m going to have to buy one more Sara Ahmed book. Axé.
“If this has been happening since 2009 why have you not reported until now?” It took a lot of thought to find a concise and true, but also polite and acceptable answer. I said, “Because the attacks now clearly affect the students and the university directly, not just me, and they have changed in nature, … More That form, that question
Word for today: Опричник, oprichnik. I will learn the suffix -nik, ник, and apply it in English. I will learn to spell: noodnik, refusenik, vatnik, and other -nik words. I will discover the relation of -ik (Bolshevik, etc.) to -nik. Inspiration: Sorokin, Day of the Oprichnik. And there is also мобик, mobik. In other news … More Опричник
1/ “Patriarchal bullshit.” Just do it–but the question is just do what. The times I have just done it when it wasn’t what I wanted to do, were times when really I should have just said no. 2/ Reeducation. How did I fall under its spell? Recent events are a dramatization of it. a) Person … More Things to talk about
I am told to remember that they feel ENTITLEMENT and they want POWER and CONTROL. I am to follow my INSTINCTS about them and keep very strong BOUNDARIES. There are people whose interest is obstruction only. Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 