People make anti-resumés of rejections, which are interesting since they show the submerged iceberg below the polished tip. Another anti-resumé would be of achievements that don’t “count,” that would not make it into either the resumé or the anti-resumé, but that are achievements nonetheless. A very great deal of my time goes into such things. … More Your mind and you are our Sargasso Sea
Someone fairly well known in a related field died and his obituary is making the rounds. I read it and saw that he had had the life I wanted: fascinating research, wonderful dissertation students, warm colleagues here and abroad. I am in a constant state of grief about having thrown good years after bad, hoping … More Obituary, identity, life, nostalgia, desire
It must be in my horoscope, I do not like to rush. I am already rapid and efficient, so I do not need to rush, but I would not like it even if I were not rapid and efficient. There is really only ONE thing I dislike about academia and it is the ethos of … More Rushing
There are so many days I would feel just fine if I could stay home part of the time to read and write, or if I could teach in English, or teach in Spanish to people who spoke it, or teach Spanish as a second language to people who could accept that learning Spanish isn’t … More Anhelos
What I miss about the jobs I have had in R-1 institutions is feeling like an adult. You work calmly with adults. Elsewhere being constantly badgered, accused, pulled down, yelled at, interrupted, and having to work through the frantic irrationality of others really drains and disorients me because it activates the traumatized state of childhood, … More Nostalgia
If I have a definite view or a strong recommendation, I am called controlling and bossy. If I have no opinion, or a tentative opinion, or am comfortable with any of several alternatives, I am called vague and accused of insufficient participation. UPDATE: Another sexist thing I undergo, and do not understand, is the technique … More Insecure men and insecure patriarchal women
I have decided I will not be so self-destructive and that I will put aside fear — and also guilt / shame. These last will not be replaced with paranoia or a “the hell with them” attitude, either, but with fearlessness and therefore empathy. Axé.
…because they are just too tattered, they are depressing me. They are wonderful and epoch-making as well, and I hate to let them go since they are like limbs. They are: New German Critique 22 (Winter 1981), special issue on Modernism. Articles by Habermas, Giddens, Bürger, Huyssen, Nägele, Bainard Cowan, Michael Ryan, more. Revista Iberoamericana … More Books and journals going now
…I am disturbed about my father’s final illness for several reasons. One, we do not know how long this crisis will last. Will we get to a stable period, or will it be a crisis from here on out? If so, will that be for the next five years? If so, will that cost all … More I am not chirpy
Category: Banes … More La diagnosis
coldhearted scientist وداد 