All the majors in my main department take certain required classes together. This semester two such classes were given, one by me and one by the Blackguard. This week the Blackguard visited me with a magnanimous air. “My students really enjoyed your class,” said he. I understood I was meant to be grateful for his … More The Blackguard Visits
The counselor told the student that he had made the choice to join the National Guard and now had to “take responsibility” for the loss of his leg. What do you want to bet that earlier on, a similarly trained counselor told the student it was his patriotic duty to join the National Guard so … More Dat Whiteman
I am not any kind of Cajun or Creole, and I am not in Cajun and Creole Studies. I have no academic expertise to bear on the question of what is a Cajun or a Creole, what Cajun or Creole history is. My own work on Latin American identities is very different. I do not … More White Paper
How often do autodidacts appear as literary characters? How are they portrayed? Why do they fascinate? When are autodidacts liberated and liberating, and when are they impostors? How can you tell an impostor from a harbinger of new ideas? How do I, not an autodidact, explain to an autodidact who could be a harbinger of … More Academic Mondays: Des Autodidactes
I am now asked not to try to change peoples’ ways of communicating and I wonder what this directive means or to what event it refers. Last year that Blackguard informed me that one of our colleagues was too old and ugly to be raped, but that I was not yet. I said, I beg … More Blackguard: “She Does What Her Cunt Hairs Dictate”
Blackguard (PhD 2008): You have been working here all these years and you are clearly incompetent, because there are flaws in this program. Professor Zero (mildly): Yes, there are flaws. There were once even more flaws. (Aside:) If you only knew how much competence was required to create the PhD level position that resulted in … More Long Suffering
Student: I am interested in these graduate programs. Do you think I am aiming too high? Professor Zero: That is an excellent list for your interests. Those programs are competitive but you should be accepted to some. Apply and see where you get in. Write a good statement of purpose and be sure to get … More On Patronage and Paternalism (Return of the Whiteman)
He informeth me that if I were yet more silent and proper than I already am, the bully of our subunit would not be moved to bully us all. He realizeth not that it was due to my silence and proper behavior that this bully was able to take over our subunit the way he … More Dat Whiteman
If I had ever actually sent these I would have been a busybody. When the events took place — and it was not one, but several different occasions — I practically sat on my hands so as not to send them. #101 Dear Junior Faculty, Please do not try to intercede in this matter. Your … More Advice to New Faculty, or, Fantasy Letters #101, #007, #99, and #0
It keeps freezing and then getting warm. Over Mardi Gras there was snow. I keep coming to points where I declare myself free of Reeducation but then realize I am not really. Then I start over. I have now started over at a whole new level and it feels like physical exercise. It might be … More Spring
coldhearted scientist وداد 