It is to talk about work, my history of work. Relation to self in work, relation to family in work. Education, Reeducation, work, identity, right to exist. This is a broader topic than I am covering in this post. This post is about research. There is a way in which my entire academic problem is … More The next step
There is Amar en tiempos revueltos, and there is also Isabel la Católica. I would love to just watch all of these things on RTVE and withdraw from the world entirely. But it is a beautiful fall now, my favorite season outdoors. What is the next step: should I consider denial, magical thinking, evasion, avoidance, … More On television, and on the next step
The weather is pleasant today and I could suffer less than I do. I have paid off a card and so in shopping news I ordered jeans and a bag, that I needed, and decided to buy glasses, that I need, and all of these things are for work. I have also located a bicycle, … More Un dimanche, and a self-indulgent, self-involved post. Or not: it starts out with consumerism, yet ultimately it could be a psychoanalytic post.
The way to write is to write 2.5 hours in the morning and do things that strengthen you the rest of the time. But those are just practicalities. At a deeper level, you have to fill the project with yourself, as Proust might have said, and pull it onto your ground. I find myself unable … More Comment écrire
“Do you mean you are going to take more of a stand, rather than remain silent? I pride myself for being able to glimpse in a person that elusive quality of heightened awareness. YOU ARE TRULY BRILLIANT, GOD DAMNIT. Please just admit it.” All right. But the fact is that I am also so ashamed … More Finally: on not wanting to come out in public
This was what that psychotherapy got me in touch with and said was the real me, that I needed to come out of denial about being. It is true that as a small child I was very ashamed of being such a deficient and also inadvertently mean person. I was afraid of being thrown out … More That incredibly low self-esteem
The other thing the academic advisors do not understand is that quality of life does matter and should in fact come first. Any philosopher would tell you that. If there actually are people who only care about publishing certain books and teaching at the tertiary level and can do this well in any circumstances and … More And two or three post-points, or, “I just wanted to bask in your brilliant mind,” as my friend said
Very well, I will stop complaining since there is a fine line between making discoveries and articulating the actual state of things, and engaging in precisely the kind of self-destruction I have decided to watch out for and not do. I have just remembered something I used to do, before Reeducation: designate time during the … More Muy interesante
“Working here is like working in a coffin or a tomb,” said my colleague. So part of my issue is, wanting to be somewhere more lively. Wanting to do this work but needing to be somewhere more lively to do it. Is that a crime? (My colleagues making six figures are in lively places often, … More And simplifying
The other reason I feel terrible working in my original field is the infantilization — I associate it working in it with shame and humiliation. And of course all the advice I rail about, the advice I tried to use to get myself to keep working on it, is infantilizing advice, so the entire atmosphere … More And now, postscripts to that letter
coldhearted scientist وداد 