Dysregulation, or a term, emotional dysregulation. I realize now that when Reeducation said I had no feelings, or could not feel my feelings, it meant that according to it, I should be dysregulated, based on its interpretation of my background. So I had to be dysregulated and hiding it, or I was not dysregulated but … More A vocabulary word
Someone said: 1/ They follow someone who defended the downtrodden and stood up to every authority, every oppressor, all alone. They admire this 2/ They know they are abusing people, hiding behind each other and acting in group think 3/ When someone actually takes a Christlike position, they are terrified 4/ And try to destroy … More On Christian Culture
Now it’s been a month since I committed to not doing anything self-destructive and to put my interests first. I’ve never done this before and it is very interesting. And difficult. I suffer from more anxiety than I realize. It’s frustrating because people think anxiety is excessive worry, about things that are not real. Treatments … More Hace un mes
The lady at the shoe repair says we should take Vitamin E and use No. 7, and I believe her, it’s worth trying. I need a good but inexpensive product so I can use lots of it. But which one? Must I get the whole package? Probably–I don’t have to use all of the pieces … More No. 7
Un matrimonio como muchos actually takes a couple from Havana to New Orleans to New York.And off topic but on work, integrity is the keyword for Murcia.
The friendly town of extroverts The man with the Treme coffee house T shirt, and the call from Joe: I am from down South The deli on Bleeker Street, the chess players MoMA. Union Square. Film Forum. More of the Village. Strolling. Axé.
What was diabolical about that aspect of Reeducation was how closely it replicated my first education. I have said this before, but I see it so clearly now. There are deep common elements, authoritarianism, narcissism, and a faulty logic that I think is some kind of fash psyop, really. I remember puzzling over these contradictions … More Diabolical
Axé.
They are destructive to you. Don’t help them. Yes, it is sad that you have not understood this fully before and have in that way been complicit in the destruction of yourself, but it is very good you see it now and can stop colluding. And you will find you heal somewhat. Even seeing what … More The rule!
You should log the things that happen each day or week, I have decided. I always thought of diaries as cursi but they are meditative, and it’s good. I dreamed of a humiliating conversation at work, the kind that always happens. I’m asked how to improve the program, and I make recommendations based on national … More Log, and dream
coldhearted scientist وداد 