To break a spell, you are to say to the requisite person, “You have no power over me any more.” And believe it, and breathe it in, and make it true. Others, it appears, are already well settled into academic writing schedules and summer routines. I have three finals to give and grade, and two … More No Power Over Me Any More. A Very Important Post.
The reason I feel academic work is destructive is the prevalence and repetition of menaces and threats therein. From birth I am familiar with this feeling — someone will make a misstep, work will be cut. It is hard to concentrate in this atmosphere. There are no jobs, one false move and you are gone, … More On Menaces and Threats
As you can see and will see, I am really exhausted and depressed. My cat, who was my anti-suicide insurance is gone, and just any cat will not do the trick. Getting out of town makes my other identity, the happy one, kick in but this summer I am incarcerated here — against all plans, … More Psychological Hygiene for Summer
…I would like to do some work this summer, then, on the flashbacks and the feelings of illegitimacy / guilt. How to do it — care of self, perhaps. You have to have a strong body and pleasure, and be good to yourself. I think I can focus / meditate and reimagine myself. I think … More So…
One should not stare too long into the abyss lest one become it, I know, but I am benefiting from the morose series of posts I am writing because they are helping me excavate the sources of the pain I am in, shine some light on it and ideally, dry it up and brush it … More Lake
One of my colleagues said yesterday, “You have so many talents, so many competencies for so much, it is really admirable.” * The more I think about it the more I realize how deep the guilt is that keeps me in place, growing quieter each year. Let us review my sins, as I feel them, … More On Leaving
On May Day my cat will complete his second month of absence. I was told when I adopted him that I should not let him outside because he could meet a terrible death. I let him outside, anyway, on the feeling that one should not incarcerate anyone. I regret that some days, since he may … More Kitlingen
Over 100 degree programs in this state will be cut in the coming year, says the newspaper. It is time to mail presents, work Jazzfest, decide where to take the LSAT, register, visit Death Row, and see a passion play at the Louisiana State Penitentiary at Angola. Clean house, clear out files, sell books, chop … More Word a tu rechingada madre
Axé.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 