The last two days have been exceedingly unpleasant, for exceedingly silly reasons – reasons on the order of the background to the letter I paste in below. The reason for the error this letter hopes to correct is the basic illiteracy and laziness of the employees of Subaru Roadside Assistance Plus, and especially their desire to exercise oppressive power.
I am fighting back against Subaru Roadside Assistance Plus by blasting it on my blog because, in this day and age, what is a consumer to do? It amazes me to have a twenty year old with a Valley Girl accent assume that I might not know whether or not my vehicle is under warranty. I feel like saying, look Valley Girl, not everyone is as vapid and lame-brained as you. This also amazed me:
Whiteman: It takes several weeks to hear back from us, Ma’am.
PZ: Yes. Several weeks have passed. I am holding your letter of response, which arrived to my residence by mail, in my hand. Indeed, I am reading to you directly from it. It is, precisely, to the contents of this letter which I object. As I have already explained, the letter instructed me to call your department if I had questions.
I am very tolerant of officious behavior and semi-literacy on the part of, let us say, petty government officials in developing countries. I am, however, not willing to put up with outright rudeness from Americans, and that is final. And I can be very officious back, as I am sure you can already tell.
Dear Subaru Roadside Assistance Plus,
This refers to your letter of May 10 (enclosed), responding to my own of April 16 (enclosed). I enclose as well my Pop-A-Lock bill of April 9 and in addition, an original of my current membership card in Subaru Roadside Assistance Plus. I am a current member. On the advice of Subaru Roadside Assistance Plus I am resubmitting a claim erroneously denied by you.
It was also on the advice of Subaru Roadside Assistance Plus that I sent you my claim in April. Subaru Roadside Assistance Plus has, furthermore, assured me several times by telephone in the last two days that my membership does not come up for renewal until 20 June 2007, and that I have lockout coverage up to $100.
One of your agents has explained to me yesterday morning that someone there must have assumed I could not be a current member of Subaru Roadside Assistance Plus, because my vehicle is off warranty. Please remember that membership in Subaru Roadside Assistance can be bought separately when warranties expire. That is my case. If you examine the enclosed card and look up my membership number, SBX400873472, you will see that it is valid.
I listed my membership number, SBX400873472, twice in my letter of April 16. You could have looked it up then. Now, with my genuine, original card in your hand, please do look up the number. Then please rectify this error. I joined Subaru Roadside Assistance Plus because your agents promised me you would be “a better service than AAA.” I would like to see evidence of this.
Yours very truly,
Professor Zero
Encl.
Tuesday, I have found, can be unlucky. Wednesday is at least a good day for storms.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 
Here is the deal, they try to wear you down. I’m telling you I know this. It has been six months and we have not gotten our five dollars, yes, only five dollars, but at this point it is the principle of the matter, rebate from a Logitech purchase. First, they denied the rebate saying we did not provide the SKU number, when we resubmitted directing them to the SKU # printed on the very receipt that was required in the first place, in which we sent them, in which we enclosed another copy of, they then responded that the rebate period was over. Then we had to write another letter stating it that was the case then it is so because they did not act efficiently during the rebate period. Then the manager was summoned, then a check was promised, then they claimed the check was returned (impossible), etc, etc. They want to WEAR THE CONSUMER DOWN. Then the consumer will just drop it out of frustration and then the corporation will not have to pay as they advertised, as they promised. They want the hook but they do not want to pay for the hook. You know the box tops for education, now there is a limit, an expiration date. The tabs on Yoplait for cancer, a limit, an expiration date. It is the commodification of charity. In your case, the commodification of service, but without having to provide the service. “Give us your money but do not expect anything for it!” —–the new mantra.
Yes – like insurance companies (which, I am convinced, are the root of much evil).