When I was in Reeducation I made a new friend who could not understand why I was depressed. “Why?” he would ask. “You have a lovely job, a lovely house in a nice city, interesting activities, insight, and a positive attitude. Why are you depressed?” “Because I have self hatred,” I would answer.
That was the closest I could come to the truth at the time, but it was not the key to the matter. The key to the matter was that I was internalizing abuse. I am able to see this now that I am in jail, where I don’t doubt that the authorities are the enemy.
Note: This message from Professor Zero has been sent from the Castle. Her hearing continues today. She has testified that she is a white woman and insists she has never denied it. While Professor Zero has been classified IRL by more than one Louisianian as Creole, she still maintains she was raised as Anglo, looks white, and enjoys white privilege.
This blog has been classified by some as a “Latino blog” and by others as a “Black blog.” It has also been classified as an “academic blog,” although it was never intended as such, and one reader has accused it of being “fraudulently intelligent” (i.e., more intelligent than Professor Zero herself).
Professor Zero reiterates that while this blog may be seen as academic, Black, Latino, or intelligent, those are readers’ perceptions. The author’s intention is not to define the blog in any particular way, or to pose as anything but the sculpted skull she really is, but merely to sift through her thoughts.
Although she who writes this blog is originally from Greater Mexico, is an honorary Mexican, and has designated Mexico as her Favorite Country, Professor Zero’s true home is in the country of Honduras, where the most important cultures are Native American, Hispanic, and Black.