I always did like the month of October, so maybe it is just that, but I have this strange feeling that something is about to happen. I do not know what it could be. This has been a beautiful weekend, although I have not taken advantage of it at all. I have done virtually nothing but sit home and write.
Now I am surveying in the half light the yard work that needs to be done and the paint job the house will soon need. I am afraid the leak in my roof may have rotted part of an outside wall. I need to crawl through the attic and look. The white picket fence, an item I happen to have in my possession, needs painting now, and I am going to do it although this particular item does not correspond at all to my identity. The chives and bananas, the mushrooms, basil and mint are growing so fast, they seem like those accelerated movies of flowers blooming we saw in elementary school, except that in this climate they really do almost double in size every week. You have to eat them.
Really I am just me and just here, but physically the person I was has risen within me. I recognize all the muscles and bones. I have the distinct impression I am watching the sun set in the distance over the Pacific, like stout Cortez, and realizing with wild surmise that although it is indecorous to think so I am ready for tomorrow’s test.
I feel like someone who has been in training and is now ready to jump up and volley anything. I feel ready for questions on footnotes to the Cantos of Ezra Pound. I feel ready even for illegal questions on Virgil or Horace, or on the ablative absolute. I could discuss Mallarmé or Melville. I could explain Mariátegui, Machado de Assis, or the Archpriest of Hita. I could tell you what Fanon would have thought of Derrida. I feel like Brian Lara.
I feel lively like a can of V-8 juice. I feel like a V-8 engine, with power it is unlikely to need but could use in an instant if necessary. I remember best the most pleasant and interesting aspects of the past. I feel that the present is large, the roads broad, and the ceilings high. The Lima acupuncture sessions appear to have worked.
Sur ce, je vous laisse. Au moins pour l’instant. Le blog, il a fait son travail, et moi, je dois écrire mes livres. Je pourrai bien revenir. J’arriverai peut-être demain même. Mais si je suis inconstante, ou si je me repose, ne vous inquiétez pas. Vous me verrez toujours sur vos sites, et à mon Séminaire Permanent.