Reeducation deauthorized.
“You are not authorized to be a successful person. The degree of power you wield in your own life is highly inappropriate in a person of your background.”
“You must disempower yourself. You must recognize that your happiness and integrity is an illusion based on denial. You are not authorized to live as you do — to be as you are — to speak.”
“You are too calm and your powers of concentration and focus are too strong. This could not be a result of meditation or be anything positive. It must be obsession, compulsiveness, and inability to feel.”
“You do not feel enough pain. You must feel pain and grieve.”
*
The methods of which I availed myself to disable myself as instructed included but were not limited to: Ending visits to woods, rivers, and beaches. Cutting walks and workouts. Smoking. Sleep deprivation. These measures weakened me and softened my focus, and I stopped doing as well as before in life and at work. I listened more closely to Reeducation’s version of me, and lamented my losses.
“This is problematic,” said I to Reeducation. “I do not see how cutting power and increasing pain in these ways can come to any good end.” Reeducation smiled. “You are finally doing what you really want to do, what you really need to do,” it said.
*
That reaction was blood chilling. Yet I still expected Reeducation to change its mind based on the poor results. Of course it did not, as these were the results it desired.
I am reauthorized.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 
This is Professsor Zero that I know!
Chant down Babylon…
Axé.
Thank you Geoffrey — it means a lot coming from you. If I had time right now I would write a post called “Zero Lemmas” and it would say things like “treat yourself at well as home as you do abroad — at well as work as you would on vacation” … and also “feel at least as sorry for yourself as abuse victim as you do for the person reduced to abusive behavior.”
The other thing I am reauthorized to do is stand ground. In Reeducation one had “poor boundaries” — and was not supposed to take control of anything … just sit and wait until things were over was what I understood. I am reauthorized to stand ground and have rights, and I am no longer required to negotiate for my right to exist. !!!!
From the Dean of Reauthorization:
“Most people think,
Great God will come from the skies,
Take away everything
And make everybody feel high.
But if you know what life is worth,
You will look for yours on earth:
And now you see the light,
You stand up for your rights. Jah”
It is strange that the places that should encourage liberation are crowded with curmudgeons whose only to stop and limit. Yet, I’ve learned to stand up to them & fight.
Part of my work is to say, “I and I have the right to live.”
It’s strange how many minorities, I’m including the sisters, the gay brothers and sisters in this, have given up that right & how so many would willing take away that right.
Never give up the fight, Professor Z!
You’re right, G! On the plane I was thinking of having been taught, in Reeducation, to WITHDRAW rather than stand ground. I’m going to hold the image and do the opposite.
…and take up boxing.
Actually more advanced boxing techniques teach neither to withdraw or stand yr ground. Rather, evade by stepping to the side and approaching the issue anew for a totally unpredictable angle.
make them miss and make them pay