Heu Mihi

A GENERAL QUESTION

Is this only my bad luck, or is it a trend — new professors, graduate students somewhere last year, who (a) refuse to write their own grant applications because that is “administration,” (b) have, however, big ideas for administrative and service projects in related to their fields that they think I should undertake so that they can have a small role in these, and (c) desire ardently to supervise the teaching of other staff, despite not being trained in pedagogy themselves?
I am talking about the Blackguard, yes, but I am talking about others, too, who seem to think that now that they are a professor they are a sort of super-T.A.

“MY PENIS HURTS, SO I CANNOT BEHAVE”

The Blackguard, of course, considers himself both super-T.A. and also captain general. He has no transportation, and believes we should be his taxi drivers. Last Thursday when I finally called him on his lies and manipulations, his excuse was — I am not kidding — that his dick has been hurting for months. We must understand that the owner of such a painful dick cannot possibly behave decently. Since then I find him revolting. I want him to stay at least several yards away from me. We will see how this works out when we have to eat together as a department or sub department for any reason.

“I KNOW YOU ARE GLAD TO HAVE CAUGHT A FISH AS LARGE AS MYSELF”

This Blackguard, who is younger than I am but looks older, keeps telling me and others how good looking he is. I think someone else agrees with that and has fallen prey to the Blackguard’s machinations for this reason. Said person is not pleased with the results. But I have just realized that this Blackguard may believe we all sigh for him. Perhaps he is trying to use these putative crushes to manipulate us all. Perhaps this is why interactions with him are all so irritating and hard to “read.” Perhaps he considers us all his abusable spouses.

“AT LEAST YOU ARE IN YOUR COUNTRY”

That Blackguard is a hypochondriac. He suffers with each fear for months, and then flies to his country which has socialized medicine to be told he does not have the disease he feared. This is one of his main excuses for poor behavior. Unlike the rest of us, he must have a doctor who speaks his mother tongue, so he must go home for medical care. Unlike the rest of us, he has a home to go to with free medical care, so he cannot afford to get whatever is wrong taken care of here — he must make it our problem.

That Blackguard is a jerk and a wimp.

Axé.

17 Comments

Filed under Questions

17 responses to “Heu Mihi

  1. Blackguard sounds like the reason that the phrase “TMI” was invented.

  2. Yes, indeed. He is so over the top and out of line in so many ways, it is hard to keep up with.

    However, I think I am over him, over realizing what he is really like, i.e. that he is not just a little, but a whole lot out of line.

  3. P.S., though — we do have to note that he keeps telling us he is incompetent to do his job. Unable to do anything “administrative,” i.e. write his own summer grant applications. Unable to behave in a civilized manner due to illnesses he is unwilling to treat.

  4. human

    Ahahaha. That is totally awesome. Hey, you should get the whole department to sign a “sorry about your penis” card.

  5. Most macho posturing has whimpiness underneath it, I find.

  6. Yes. But I like the card idea.

    Maybe it isn’t hurting because of cancer (what he fears it is) but because I and others castrated it. Or maybe it is just weak, or something.

  7. It’s probably just very weak. Maybe it needs to take a holiday all by itself.

  8. I think it is doing that…

  9. I think he is psychotic.

  10. So do I, and I think he has been diagnosed before. He keeps saying he has a diagnosis he will tell about some day. Meanwhile he wants us to find him a Spanish speaking therapist.

  11. Finding him a therapist should be easy enough to do, although of course he should take care of that himself.

  12. Have you considered that he may some kind of drug addiction?

  13. Spanish speaking one, not easy to find here … if I knew of one off hand, I’d tell him, but I am not searching myself, it’s his job.

    Drug addiction, well, I think he’s an alcoholic although he doesn’t. He has said he has ADHD and OCD, I am not sure how accurate those statements are or anything, or what kinds of drugs he has or not for them. But I think he’s just on alcohol, and that he has more mental problems than we or perhaps he knows.

    (All of this is *despite* all cultural type excuses, people from his country do drink more and are more egotistical and so on than the average, I know, I know, but I know very many people from this country and always have, and he’s got more going on than a different culture from mine … much though he likes to tell me I just don’t understand him because I am, according to him, “Anglo-Saxon”….)

  14. But the current situation, in which he is refusing to speak to us, he is a pleasant colleague, because he does in fact speak in a practical way about work matters. That is: his “not speaking” is similar to most peoples’ “speaking.”

  15. Aha. Yes, I understand.

  16. I just recalled that on the interview, I thought he was on drugs at the end and mentioned it to others — they didn’t see it, thought he was just excited plus tired. But it seemed weirder than that to me.

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