Le Travail

I now do nothing but work, and I still need to step it up further. I understand at last those people who say they do not care where they live or how they dress because all they do is work. I am not convinced the lack of recreation will be good for work on a permanent basis, however.

My work focus is on streamlining the part of work that is drudgery and emphasizing the part that is entertaining and leads to intellectual development.

I am unlearning my guilt about work. To work makes me feel guilty and scared for reasons such as these:

+ it is improper to take anything one is doing seriously
+ it is selfish to actually undertake one’s own job assignment
+ it is not hip to put in effort
+ it is not hip not to be disaffected
+ it is unfair to others to imagine one knows what one is doing and to move right on ahead.


2 thoughts on “Le Travail

  1. It is strange, all of this was very sort of avoidant and pessimistic and also arrogant in its way.

    I have been doing something similar since I took this job, which I took because it seemed to be what the family would accept. I keep thinking that if I can just get it through to them how unhappy I am with it, that they will give me their blessing to do something else.

    I should know not to expect that and that really it is I who want my own blessing to do — anything at all.

    Sometimes I really wonder whether all the years academics spend passing tests and seeking approval from so many quarters is a good thing.

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