I, too, dislike scheduling to death because it is altogether too intimidating. A schedule is good but it must have a great deal of empty space in it.
But I am more than ever convinced that scheduling and time are small issues. It is far more fundamental not to allow unbearable pressure, to do what you like, and to speak kindly to yourself.
In Reeducation I learned that these were coping mechanisms; they would make you feel well and you lose access to the truth of your situation. This is false.
I do have difficulty discerning what I like; it is only easy to see what I do not object to.
Do I like my profession? Not at the level at which I am asked to practice it, no; nor in these conditions. Could I? Yes. Is it the only one I could like, or the one I would like the very most? Not necessarily.
My question is, why does academia require this kind of loyalty? Why must one say it is the best and the only, and not just that out of the things one could have done, it was what one opted for?
2 thoughts on “Sur le temps”
It’s a process. I think it’s good to idealize academic life when you are learning a lot and really benefiting from having the opportunities it gives. Later on it’s best to be a realist.
Maybe I’ve been a realist all along and that is what upsets people — they all seem to want to say it is either wonderful or awful.