Important to note for this week is how I was taught that normalcy was a façade. In reality we were barely tolerated: we hadn’t been wanted, we were not liked, and it was wished that we would go away. Our successes were events carefully arranged for our amusement by our parents, and if they were not there behind the curtain, creating an illusion or paying others to do so, the truth would be revealed to us. We would see that we were incompetent, and we would also be shunned, as we were not desirable or pleasant.
I remember feeling in graduate school that because my great-aunt had left us college money — such that my parents did not have to pay for college and I did not have to work during the academic year or take out loans — my B. A. was fraudulent, and my presence in a Ph.D. program was fraudulent as well.
One thought on “Education and Reeducation”
The rejection of self, and particularly the rejection of best self, this kind of abuse can cause is shocking.
*It is important to remember the time he said I was unemployable and it was genetically wired in, there was nothing to do about it* … THIS was the very most unnerving moment [and all of these things were why I was vulnerable to Reeducation]