“I think you should sell that [your] house and get out of that town.”

“You cannot know when you will have to leave your [tenured] job. You may not get to be the one who chooses that.”

“You cannot know that you will live to be old. Even if all the members of your family you resemble live to be old, you should not think you need to plan for it, because you could be hit by a bus.”

“If you are considering the possibility of assisted suicide or Dutch-style euthanasia when you are really old, you had better think twice: you are better off standing in front of a bus or shooting yourself.”

This is all so negative, and so patronizing.

MORE THAN THREE YEARS LATER: Patronizing is a key word here and I also recognize elements from Reeducation–particularly the idea that my life isn’t worth planning for, and I am not capable of planning for my life.


2 thoughts on “Bullies

  1. What I said about that, and I feel bad about it but I also feel I do not deserve to be threatened, condescended to, yelled at:

    These are the things I have to say about that conversation and I will not be moved on any point.

    1. On the question of not having a choice about when to leave this job: we, here, are warned about that every day. It isn’t good for anyone and it is also not realistic.

    2. Yes, I could be killed tomorrow, but I’ve got mega-life expectancy and I intend to plan for it. Nothing else is realistic and if I am wrong, someone will have an estate.

    3. If, at 90 or 100, I should undertake some form of euthanasia, for any reason, it will not be by walking out in front of a bus or by self-inflicted gunfire AND it will be legal.

  2. And the line I must hold is:

    — You do not get to sneer at me.
    — You do not get to threaten me.

    I want to say:
    — I am a friend and colleague, not a wayward teen you are tired of bailing out of jail.

    I would point out:
    — I have, under heavy pressure from you, twice made decisions against my own better judgment, that had detrimental results and that I regret. I will not be pressured in that way again.

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