…so I went to school and went to class and everything is fine. It is just: I am so scarred by teaching recalcitrant freshmen and having old-fashioned supervisors on my case about THEIR ideas of how freshmen should be served. I am so tired of being so far away from everything. I am so seriously … More Hmm…
Historiann says this and I am glad to hear not only I have this problem. My unhappiness inadequacy as a professor would be greatly mitigated by a lower teaching load. Here is that journal on syllabi, and we should all publish in it, for many reasons including that it will get us research credit for teaching … More On teaching, the upshot
It is possible to live yet better, in my case largely by not staying up so late and going running more regularly. Yesterday, though, I planted trees along the Bayou Teche and went swimming. The ride along the levee was beautiful. Then I looked I at my citation statistics for annual review and realized that … More Sunday meditation…
→I woke up and did not even have to talk myself into getting up, so I must be improving. I have had good dreams for two days. I still say I threw my life away. However, I am only teaching three classes and they are all interesting. →This blog gathered together some interesting old posts, … More Le samedi
About this: should we rethink the language requirement? Here is why I ask: the options, for action on the “adjunct crisis,” appear to be cutting the number of students allowed to finish graduate programs, so as to reduce the alleged overproduction of Ph.D.s, or making sure people who do the Ph.D. are also trained for … More Should we recast the language requirement?
I woke up noticing that a large part of the anxiety and precarity is financial. I should do yoga and meditate so that I recognize this when it comes up and set it aside. How to increase income: promotion. The rest of it is the self-care issue which is really the self-love issue, as we … More Dimanche matin
I was thinking of the beautiful light, the January sky, the clear winter days when you can have the windows open. I was thinking of some people I know who do not converse. People for whom every conversation is a battle, and whose sentences are pre-emptive strikes against an imagined enemy. How they defend unhappiness … More Ce matin
I like to get up and start writing down the interesting thoughts I have during the night, but this seems to depend upon being back home, or somewhere homelike. Here I like to see the light break but I am then always struggling against anxiety, pain, grief, how did I get here, how can I … More Le jour se lève
So I am now over it. Over the current bout of nostalgia for places and activities and lives I missed. Over my rage at having succumbed to the pressure to renounce these things. I still say that what I do not like about professors is that they are not aware of any other interesting jobs–they … More 2014
I have developed this principle before but I do not always apply it, as I am careless now and because solidarity and also familiarity with the contingent faculty makes me too egalitarian. But you should not listen very much to other assistant professors or to instructors and adjuncts. They are the ones who most wish … More Serious advice to new faculty
coldhearted scientist وداد 