Weekends in Iraq

Whether or not Professor Zero is ever released from custody, this site will on occasional weekends publish the names of recent Iraq casualties of all nationalities. To start, we give the names of U.S. deaths from March 4-22, as confirmed by the Department of Defense. Honorary Mexican and official Central American that Professor Zero is, … More Weekends in Iraq

Memorandum 6

To all faculty and administrators: We now have carefully written tenure guidelines and procedures, which we present as intended to inform and support the candidate. Of course we know very well that these guidelines and procedures are also in place to protect us against complaints. What I find so disturbing about the postmodern “academy,” as … More Memorandum 6

Memorandum 5

To all deans, chairs, and directors: I realize that at home with your families – with your young children and your wives whom you met when you had them in your classes and who teach high school or community college courses – your wisdom appears to parallel that of Solomon, and your logic, that of … More Memorandum 5

On Time to Tenure

This is Professor Zero, from parish prison (for those of you who live in states, districts, and colonies other than Louisiana, that means county jail). I am allowed to go to class and so on. I am not allowed to comment on blogs because I have far too much to do and it is only … More On Time to Tenure

Memorandum 4

To all secretaries, especially those who are now or who aspire to become administrative assistants: I realize that you may have young children, but this is an adult workplace. Please do not use baby talk here. If, for example, you make an error, please refer to it as such. Do not widen your eyes and … More Memorandum 4

A Modest Proposal

It is the weekend, and I am in New Orleans singing with WWOZ. I have been hanging out at an excellent conference wherein smart professors and graduate students spoke. It has been very refreshing. I feel as though I am beginning to right my sails. While driving back and forth I considered everyone’s posts on … More A Modest Proposal

Memorandum 3

To all faculty at Harvard, Michigan, Yale, and similar schools: In your book prefaces, please be a little more discreet about the fun you had writing them. We know your smart graduate students read this book in draft – in fact, to do so was their seminar – and made useful comments. We know you … More Memorandum 3

Memorandum 2

To all students with cute nicknames: The time to introduce these nicknames to me or to the class is not when you are in a desperate circumstance and need a special favor. The effort to portray yourself as a kitten or puppy by suddenly beginning to sign your e-mails “Mikey” or “‘Becca” is very transparent. … More Memorandum 2