Insight Three

I never got comfortable teaching certain kinds of classes for the same kind of reason as some people, on purpose, do not learn to type: they do not want it to be their destiny. It would be easier if I got comfortable anyway. How to do this is the question, how to make the person who teaches those classes look like me? There are other issues and I do not have them named yet.

I have to think about this, it is one of the places my class prejudice or whatever it is shows, I am not comfortable with all the smoke-filled clothes and tattoos and religious attitudes and so much else that is rough and American and Southern and alien and that that comes and goes with freshmen. How to make the person who teaches those classes be me?

I have not worked these issues out but it all has to do with feeling comfortable teaching those classes and it may all come back to the theme of the last post which was authority. Meanwhile, if you think research is hard, try grading. Note that there is a reason they put people on Scantron and autograde, and do not let them write anything until junior year.

Really, though, my fear of these classes is this: they are not supposed to be important, and yet they are. I am not good with cognitive dissonance. In the jobs I have had where we did not have them, it was such a relief.

I have to get comfortable with them and say they are me; my student says the reason I do not is that there are so many people hostile to the material in the course that, if I have deep interest in the material, I would of course not want to associate with them. This is the direction where the truth lies.


2 thoughts on “Insight Three

  1. And that is what I have always hated about teaching and work in general. I couldn’t choose my company but had to deal with whoever was there. These days I have nothing to do with boring stupid or crazy people and don’t feel even slightly guilty. I’ve served my time with that ilk.

    1. Aha — well you know, the other day in real life we were talking about the professors as the people we most wanted to get away from in academia. Maybe it is really just people.

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