I should talk about kinds of music, nature, and possibly storybooks and poems, to participate in that series on “formation.” I should also talk about the grape boycott and related events of that time.
Really what I have to say is that I should never have left California or rather, that I never had the chance to consider seriously enough the cost of not having the sierra and the coast at hand.
I also note that if formation is not only what one was exposed to or offered but what one sought out, then I may not be truly formed since I do not see myself as having sought things out nearly so actively as I tried to fit in and not upset people. Or so it seems.
That, of course, could be read in another way — one should also consider the things I insisted upon doing despite efforts to dissuade.
What I really want to talk about, however, is how I contracted and why I should drop my fear of teaching. It is very disabling and it is also bad for research — and the irony of it all is that I am actually very good at teaching, and efficient. I have notes on what I transfer onto it, garnered by watching myself think about it yesterday.
But I do not have time to write that post, or the post on formation, either, so this is a stand-in post. My decision not to tear myself apart is slowly working.