The “good” father is thus not the one who helps one find one’s own self but he who spares one inner conflict. He is the father who gives one permission to vent destructiveness, who releases one from struggling with one’s own conscience. in other words, the “good” father is the bad father, who completely destroys the remnants of the really good mother. This means that fear not love reigns supreme.
—The Insanity of normality. Realism as sickness: toward understanding human destructiveness. Trans. Hannum. New York: Grove Weidenfeld, 1992.
I am getting rid of this book because I have it photocopied and bound in a cover that hides what it is, so I forget that I have it. But it is a seriously good book and Arno Gruen is an important psychoanalyst.